Pushed, Pulled, Nudged or Shoved: How We Find Our Calling
Many professional women don’t want to settle. We have ideas, dreams, and visions. Many of us realize, at some point, that we don’t fit neatly into the corporate world or the man’s world or the world that someone else defined for us. But, we couldn’t figure out how to build our own world.
Many of us felt pushed or pulled or nudged or shoved or sometimes even Called to do something that didn’t make a lot of sense, there weren’t a lot of trail blazers and path-finders ahead of us to show us the way, and sometimes there were no role models to show us how to do it well. And yet, many of us did it.
What do we make of this idea of Calling? It’s a spiritual term, often used for those Called to the ministry or missionary field. I think it’s a much bigger term than that. It recognizes that many of us feel guided into our careers. Whether we see that Guide as God or The Spirit or The Light or The Truth or the Sacred or The Inner Voice, it leads us, gets us over the humps, and makes it possible to do work, in our own individual way, and actually contribute to the world.
But what do we do if we’re not sure?
When I started my Script Consultant business (a business that didn’t exist, no one ever hired anyone to do what I do, and they never had paid money for it), I went to a career consultant (Judith Claire) who helped me see my way. I had a glimmer of what I wanted to do and felt I was prepared to do. She had me make a list of my preparation for this job – my college and graduate work, my experience working with scripts, my directing experience – and she kept nudging me to make the list longer. She then asked me to make a list of everything personal I brought to this job. She asked, “If someone else had exactly the same qualifications as you, why would someone prefer to come to you?” I started listing traits like nurturing, diplomacy, generosity – and she kept pushing me to add more to the list. Soon I realized I had something to offer – and took The Leap of Faith to start the business.
If you’re not sure, you might want to bring together or create a group email of other women you consider wise and insightful. I suggest 3-7 women – enough that you get different points of view. Ask them to help you discern what you are feeling moved to do. They can help you listen for that Little Voice that sometimes suggests a path. They can keep you from doing something stupid or walking into the minefields that are there with new territory. You aren’t asking them to tell you or agree or disagree, but to listen to you and ask questions and get you feeling your way into the work, not just thinking about it.
Take time to make the decision. Spiritual walks don’t start in a frenzy but start with a sense of peace and release and even subtle movement. For many, this might mean taking some Quiet Time every day to think things through, to contemplate and mediate and pray – or whatever else can calm you down so you don’t get frenetic and desperate. And these Quiet Times can keep you from being caught up in someone else’s ideas of what they think you should be doing.
As women, we have two beautiful centers. One is the heart – emotion, empathy, kindness and care. The other my horse-back riding teacher reminded me about – the place within where babies come from. The solar plexus – our strength, the source of our action as we move out into the world. I laughed about this, but then discovered I ride better when I remember that place that pushes me into the world with force and delight.