Fear: How Is It Holding You Back?
In 2018 we are going to continue interview dynamic women and while learning about their backgrounds we want to make sure you also learn something, feel something or contemplate your place in the world. In the first quarter of this year we are going to dive deeper on fear, change and gratitude. How have each of these worked in your own life? How do our experiences with these hold us back?
First, we are going to address fear. Fear is biologically designed to keep us safe. Think about in caveman days when fear kept us away from predators. In modern life fear can still keep us physically safe. I’ve even read, “The Gift of Fear: And Other Survival Signals that Keep Us Safe From Violence by Gavin de Becker (https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Survival-Signals-Violence/dp/0440226198) That’s not the fear I’m suggesting.
Today we need to be aware of our safety, but most of the time we are not in constant survival mode. Fear is physiological, it’s internal and often deep rooted with something besides our physical survival. We have the fear of failure, fear of the unknown and most recently social media has created the fear of missing out (FOMO). I’m also going to give you a preview of the podcasts to come this month touching on fear.
Fear of Failure
This is that fear that prevents us from even trying.
Remember when you were first learning to ride a bike and your parent held the back. You didn’t want them to let go. You were fearful that you would fall. They let go without you knowing it and you were riding on your own. You did it and you didn’t even know. You wanted your parent to hang on because you were afraid of failing and falling. You almost didn’t try.
We trusted our parents to keep us safe so we tried. As adults we don’t have this safety net so often times we don’t try. This month we talk with Judy Hoberman from Selling in a Skirt about fears in selling. In reality we are all sales people, we sell our ideas and projects in corporations. We are possibly selling our products or services as business owners. Judy shares her ideas on how we limit our own potential and how eliminating fear (first identifying it) gives us freedom to build relationships with others.
Fear of the Unknown
If we don’t know something it must be fearful.
Going back to 8th century BC much of the population thought the world was flat. It’s simply they didn’t know any better so they were scared. They didn’t have the vast resources we have to learn something new and only know what they are told.
Today we still have, “the world is flat,” mentality on things we don’t understand. Art can be one of these things we don’t understand. We have preconceived ideas that art if hard to learn, it’s only for the wealthy elite or maybe it only belongs in museums.
Jennifer Klos from Collector House helps dispel a few myths about art and how we can appreciate and own art of our own. She is a former museum curator and now helps individuals pick art of their homes. I even learned that fine art is defined as ceramic and paintings versus all other types of art, sculpture, clay, modern art. Who knew? And now I don’t have to be scared of art.
Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
FOMO is a first world problem that is exasperated by social media and the comparison trap.
We only live once; or so they say. The fear of missing out of a life experience can be good if it comes from an internal desire to try something new. I often think of others moving to a new city or taking an international adventure. These are truly life experiences that often require divine timing to make it happen.
Going to a concert, enjoying a fancy meal or purchasing an over the top car is driven by FOMO. We are comparing our lives to someone else (or many someone elses) and think if we have this experience our life will ultimately be better. It is often a short lived experience that you would not even write a note to your mother about (Would you write a note to your mother about eating a yummy taco? No.). Additionally, my telling yourself you only live once you are setting yourself up to spend money you likely don’t have.
Unlike other fears, fear of missing out propels us to do something versus hold us back.
What do you think about fear? Is it harmful or helpful? Has fear of failure held you back from something? Does your lack of knowledge stop you from enjoying something like art? What do you think of FOMO?