Not Everyone Is Going To Like You With The Kitschy Kountdown
Kelsey Aldinger: Kelsey is a mid twenties Texan married to a boot wearing, Ford driving, wine selling, handyman, and cat mom to Ellie and Pete. She has a love for run on sentences, is an avid reader, real-housewife wannabe, Mexican food aficionado, budget decorator, and continental traveler. Kelsey is also a speech pathologist.
Kelsey Baty: Kelsey is a blend of deep south and yankee culture who was raised in the great state of Texas. She is married to a green-eyed outdoorsman and loves coffee with coconut milk. Kelsey is passionate about having and creating connection within a community. She is also a 5th grade teacher.
Introduction: 00:09 Welcome to Plaid Radio by Plaid For Women and the #NoMeanGirls movement. Enjoy today’s show and be inspired to change the world.
Sarah Webb: 00:18 Welcome to Plaid Radio. I’m your host, Sarah Webb, and I’m with today’s guests from the Kitschy Kountdown. We’re excited to have Kelsey and Kelsey here. So, Kelsey A. is a mid-20’s Texan, married to a boot wearing, Ford driving, wine selling handyman and cat mom to Ellie and Pete. She loves run on sentences, as do I, is an avid reader and a real housewife wannabe. Welcome to the show, Kelsey A.
Kelsey A: 00:18 Thank you.
Sarah Webb: 00:44 And then we have Kelsey B., which it really is the first letter of their last names, so, I kind of liked this and she shares that she is a blend of Deep South and Yankee culture who was raised in Texas and she’s also married to a green-eyed outdoorsman who loves coffee with coconut milk. I love being dairy free. And she’s passionate about having and creating connection and she’s a fifth grade teacher. So, welcome to the show ladies. Thanks for joining us.
Kelsey B: 01:08 Thanks. Thanks for having a Sarah. We appreciate it.
Sarah Webb: 01:11 Y’all have such cute introductions for your husband’s, they’re getting too much, um, of the sentence about who you guys are, but we’ll get a little bit more into that. So, before we get into the podcast, tell us just a little bit more about yourself. So, where did you each grew up? Do you have siblings? Just kind of give us the stats on who you are.
Kelsey B: 01:30 Yeah, this is Kelsey B. So, I will actually start us off. I was born in the Northeast but quickly moved to Texas. As you mentioned, Dad is from the Northeast, my mom was born and bred in Mississippi. So, I have just some stories, some stories from my childhood were two cultures, kind of clashed a little bit, but it was a great time. I do have one older brother. Fun fact, we had our first fight when we were both in our twenties, so, great time growing up. Majored in Interdisciplinary Studies in college and which is just fancy for Elementary Education and then started teaching fifth grade and have been doing that ever since. Married Tom about a year and a half ago and we are pregnant with our first kid.
Sarah Webb: 02:15 Oh, very exciting. When you talk about clash of cultures, what’s the family ruling on black eyed peas?
Kelsey B: 02:22 We love them on New Year’s Eve. I think mom probably likes them all the time. I don’t really know about Dad.
Sarah Webb: 02:29 Yes. And do you call them black eyed peas or field peas?
Kelsey B: 02:29 Black-Eyed peas. But Maw-maw, Mississippi Maw-maw. She calls them field peas.
Sarah Webb: 02:39 There you go. Kelsey A. Tell us a little bit about yourself.
Kelsey A: 02:41 Well, I’m all South all the way. I grew up in Keller, Texas. I was an only child for the first 10 years of my life and I used to beg my parents for a sister. I used to ask them to go to the store and just buy one. I had no concept of how that worked. Unbeknownst to me, they were struggling with infertility, so, fast forward 10 years and I finally got the little sister that I always wanted. So, it was just the two of us, 10 year age gap, that has lots of stories as well. And then when I graduated from high school, I went to the University of Oklahoma for college. I joined a Sorority, did all of that stuff. My second semester of my Freshman year, I met/reconnected with my now husband. We went to two different schools, so, we dated all throughout college. I majored in Communication Sciences and Disorders and moved back home after graduation to go to Grad School to get my Masters in Speech Pathology. We got engaged at the end of Grad School, got married, moved to Oklahoma for a little bit and then moved to Houston about a year ago.
Sarah Webb: 03:45 Exciting. Well, I know a lot about speech pathology just because my child was in speech therapy for like 6 years, so, I feel like we have a connection there and now he’s at the point where he’s correcting some of my speech, which, I paid for that. So, well, how did the two of you meet? I mean I actually have lots of friends named Sarah because everyone born in a certain time period was either named Sarah, Kathryn or Stephanie. So, I go around collecting people with my same name. How did the two of you meet?
Kelsey A: 04:14 We lived in the same neighborhood growing up, so, we have our moms to thank for our friendship because they forced us to be friends when we were two years old, we didn’t really have a choice.
Kelsey B: 04:25 It’s true. I feel like they did that thing where moms find kids of similar ages and then they make you hang out. So, we lived in this very quintessential kind of Mr. Rogers won’t you to be my neighbor type neighborhood; fourth of July parades, Halloween parties and Karen and Mona… just they were like, “Same name. Be it. Be best friends.”
Kelsey A: 04:49 I think. I thought we were sisters for a long time because we had the same name. Again, I didn’t have a lot of concept for how things worked in the sibling realm.
Sarah Webb: 04:57 I feel like you should have known that before age 10. So, we’re going to have to. You’re going to have to think about when you have children, how you’re going to talk to your children about having children. So, how did you, I mean your moms kind of puts you together, you probably went through elementary, middle school and high school, did you go to the same colleges?
Kelsey B: 05:14 No, I actually went to the University of North Texas. So, I didn’t go as far as Kelsey did, but we did, we did elementary, middle, and high school together. Yeah.
Sarah Webb: 05:24 What do you attribute to continuing to maintain a friendship? That’s a really long… That’s like a… I feel like college is a time when sometimes people drift apart a little bit. So, how do you maintain your friendship?
Kelsey B: 05:35 I feel like in Kelsey, you can correct me if this is wrong, but I feel like there’s always been this unspoken need for us to maintain contact. We didn’t ever consciously sit down and be like, “we’re going to stay friends, and this is how we’re going to do it.” It’s not out of obligation, but more of necessity. AOL Instant Messenger, Zynga, annual Christmas phone calls, all those things helped us stay in contact throughout our school aged years. And then I just remember us calling one another every once in a while in college. She’s my oldest friend, the person I’ve known the longest and that feels really important to me and something that needs to be maintained. So, I don’t know. Kelsey, do you have a different…?
Kelsey A: 06:17 No, I would agree. I would say… I would say three things have kept us in touch. You hit on phone calls, we’ve always been phone friends. We would call each other, in college, and have actual voice conversations, which I think is kind of rare, and we went on walks all the time together. When we would come home from breaks from college, there is this park in between both of our houses that during the summers or when it was nice weather, we’d call each other and meet up and just go on long walks. Also Sonic Happy Hour is major catalyst for our friendship. We would just go and sit in our car and talk, just call each other one night, “hey are you doing anything? You want to go to Sonic, I need a drink, let’s go sit in their car and talk.” So, we have always made that time for each other I think, and not just survived on text messaging and that kind of stuff.
Sarah Webb: 07:11 Yeah, I do think that makes a difference in any type of relationship. And I don’t know, I feel like as a woman, as you get older, if you get past college and you start this career and you get, even when you get married, you want to invest in your marriage and you should, I’m not saying that’s bad, but sometimes you have a way of kind of isolating yourself or not developing as many friendships. I felt like it was harder to make new friends as an adult. Why do you think it’s so important to have close friendships?
Kelsey A: 07:39 Well, I think you kind of hit the nail on the head. I think as we get older you’re not in a position to be surrounded by your friends like you were growing up, in high school or in college. And I just think it’s so important to hold onto more close friends versus having a bunch of acquaintances. I think the older we get, the more you value just being known. Nowadays, our world can feel so isolated and you can feel disconnected and I know that not everybody’s in a position to stay friends with their childhood friends and there is value in new friendships for sure. But I just think having that connection with somebody who knows your story, who knows all the players in your life that you don’t have to explain, “well, this is my grandma, and this is my…” They just know everything, so you can communicate on that deeper level with less background story is really nice.
Kelsey B: 08:35 Yeah. I think that we crave connection as humans. I also believe that men and women were created very differently and while husbands and boyfriends and fiancés are some of the best people to confide in, there’s something really special about sharing a struggle with a girlfriend and hearing her say, “me, too.” And having that connection point between that other person. So…
Sarah Webb: 08:59 Yeah, I almost like it that my kids do sports and activities just so I can sit in the bleachers and be with the other moms and say, OK, what’s going on in your life? And what happened to that spelling test or whatever’s going on in our lives because we’re all at the same stage right now. So, let’s talk a little bit about your podcast, the Kitschy Kountdown. You say you focus on women feeling validated in their daily lives and I just love that because we’re all about NoMeanGirls and I mean really. That’s so similar. So, tell me how you got into podcasting and how has the response been?
Kelsey B: 09:33 Oh man, how did we get into it? Kelsey? We actually were sitting down at brunch together one day. This was about a year and a half ago and we’re both creative souls and creative types and we love writing. We love just any outlet where we can be creative and we’d been listening to Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey, a couple of other podcast, The Popcast is another one, and we thought well we can do that. We talk on the phone to each other for an hour, an hour or two, we could do this. What would we talk about? So, over this brunch we start brainstorming and came up with the Kitschy Kountdown
. Wrote down actually the name of the show on the back of our receipt and Kelsey still has that receipt. So, that’s kind of how we got into it. And the response has been shocking, in that people actually listen.
Kelsey A: 10:25 We really thought it was just going to be our moms honestly. I remember the first, I think the whole first week that we launched, I mean she used to text me our download numbers every morning and I, I mean it would go up by one and you would’ve thought that we won the lottery. I was like, “oh my gosh, someone’s listening.” It’s just so fun in that regard, hearing people care what we have to say.
Kelsey B: 10:51 Yeah. It’s also been a great tool to slow down a little bit and think about what we really believe in and what we really like and what we really think and because we have to share these things with people and so, it kind of gives us that time to slow down and yes, we want women to feel validated in their daily lives. What does that look like? How are we doing that? How can we share that with people? So, that’s been another cool aspect of it.
Kelsey A: 11:19 It is kind of like when you have a journal, like when you were little, and they would have the journal prompts, like what are the 10 things that you love today or what are…? I just always loved those writing prompts and school and so, getting to do this podcast has kind of been like a real-life version of that. And for some people that might sound miserable. But for us I think we absolutely love it.
Sarah Webb: 11:41 When you talk about it being… it’s definitely a place women can feel validated in this community, but you also focus on different aspects of life such as travel, favorite things, et cetera. Why is that important to you as well?
Kelsey A: 11:54 I think because our lives aren’t just all one thing, our unique interests are a part of what makes us who we are, and we want to talk about those things and especially if we figured out some kind of life hack that works for us. We’re all about sharing our struggle or our journey to give people permission to be like, “OK, I’m not the only person who feels that way or likes this thing or does this thing.” So, if we figured something out in the mix of things that we’re interested in, we figure someone else has gotta be interested or someone else needs to learn this, so, why not share it?
Kelsey B: 12:29 I remember Kelsey telling me one day when we were kind of in the middle of this launching season with our podcasts, so several months ago she said that women just want to hear what other women are doing, listening to, thinking using, but they’re too afraid to ask. And so, we want to just put the information out there. We want to tell people, don’t be afraid to ask, but also we’re just going to tell you everything about our lives. We like to confess something Kitschy Kountdown.
Kelsey A: 12:29 It’s true.
Sarah Webb: 12:58 But when you talk about your mother, I sometimes even address my mother and my podcast, I’m like, “mom, remember that story about this,” because you always know you have your faithful listener. So, I do think as women, we want to know that we’re not alone in that people struggle and you have real lives and there’s good in real life and there’s bad and yeah, I think it’s all about being real and authentic with other people. That’s what I really enjoy most about your podcast.
Kelsey A: 13:25 And I think too, there’s so much negativity. You can find that anywhere. So, we want to be people that promote what we love instead of just bashing what we hate all the time. So, I think that’s also important to us to bring a positive spin to things.
Sarah Webb: 13:40 Well, what advice would you give to other… if there was some woman out there thinking, “oh, I want to do a podcast,” what advice would you give them?
Kelsey A: 13:48 The first thing that I would say is, as far as the technical aspect is, to get Jacey Verdicchio’s eBook about starting a podcast and we can send you that link if you want to share it with your people. It breaks down the whole process of how to record, how to edit, how to get it approved via Apple, how to load it. All of those things. That was very intimidating for us. We had the ideas and the creativity and just knew what we wanted to talk about, but we didn’t know how to get it into Apple podcasts or iTunes or whatever it might be. But then also find a good cheerleading team and let them cheer for you and just do it because it’s not going to sound like or look like what you want it to be for a good long while and that’s OK.
Kelsey B: 14:36 Yeah. I think that there’s so many things that you. So many variables that you can’t control and so many things that aren’t going to be what you want them to be right off the bat and expertise that can take time, but I think the two things that you can control are your sound quality and your consistency. So, I would say have a good microphone, record in your closet, we’re all about recording in our closets, as you can see our… And then we started day one releasing episodes every Monday no matter what and we’ve both been through some pretty crazy stuff the past year and a half, but no matter what, we always had an episode out. So, I think kind of control what you can control, and quality and consistency are those things.
Sarah Webb: 15:25 Absolutely. Well at Plaid For Women we’re all about inclusion and no judgment. We have a movement titled #NoMeanGirls. We want women to be able to support each other and celebrate each other’s success without judgment. Can either of you remember a time either personally or professional that you received mean girl treatment?
Kelsey A: 15:42 I think for me this might… So, I work in a nursing home with older adults and some people might think, “oh, you work with sweet little old ladies all the time” and that’s not always the case, but, and Kelsey and I talk a lot about on our show that we’re both people-pleasers, trying to be recovering people-pleasers, and so, working with people who are hurting and sick, not even just patients but family members, can kind of bring out in me the people-pleaser when someone is not happy with what I do and I try to do everything to please people and sometimes I’ve found that people will just not like you or not like what you’re doing and can lash out in really hurtful ways. And I can’t say, “Oh, I have it all figured out. I…” That doesn’t bother me anymore because it still does. But something that I’m learning and trying to lean into is that saying that you could be the juiciest peach in all the world and there’s still going to be someone who doesn’t like peaches. And I’ve learned that I can’t make everybody like me, that I could have the same interaction with 10 people and nine times it’ll go perfectly smoothly in that 10th time that person is just not going to like what I do, and they can be mean and nasty and lash out. And that’s not a reflection on me. And that’s not a reflection on me as a therapist most of the time. It’s not saying I’m perfect, but that has been something that’s been really hard for me, learning that hurting people, hurt people. And dealing with people in this stage of life having to deal with an aging parent is not easy. Being sick yourself, being at the end of your life is not easy. And so, that’s something that I kind of see play out in my work and it’s something I’m learning to deal with that I didn’t really expect. Honestly.
Kelsey B: 17:31 I feel like I kind of want to write down some of the things you just said.
Sarah Webb: 17:38 I’m taking the peachy… say the peachy one again, I’m going to have to take notes on that one.
Kelsey A: 17:40 You could be the juiciest peach in all the world, but there’s still going to be someone who doesn’t like peaches and it’s Tom Beatty.
Kelsey B: 17:47 My husband does not like fruit.
Kelsey A: 17:47 Mom!
Kelsey B: 17:51 So, I have kind of a story with general themes like Kelsey’s and I chose to live my life one way at the beginning of my work, my career, and when I started dating my husband, realized that what I’m doing is not a good choice for me. Not a good reflection of family or faith or any of those things that I want to project into the world. And so, I kinda decided to go down this different path and live differently. Really the way that I always had been growing up and there was someone at school where I work who kind of read into that and felt I was being judgmental of her lifestyle. And so, I’ll be the first one to say that’s not what was happening, but shame on me for making her feel that way. And so, she actually pulled me into my classroom one day and said things that if I would’ve turned them in HR, she would no longer have a job and we still work together. Really took maturity from both of us to say, I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings. I really am. I’m sorry you feel the way that you do, but this is the choice that I’m making. I hope that we can forgive one another and continue to be acquaintances. We’re not the close friends that we used to be. And that’s OK, you don’t have to be best friends with everyone, but just being able to forgive hurtful things that people say to you is more… I mean it’s not going to hurt someone if you don’t forgive them, but it’s going to hurt yourself. So, for me just learning to forgive her and doing that was much more beneficial for me. So, that’s kinda my, my one story that sticks out as far as mean girl treatment goes.
Sarah Webb: 19:34 And I’m working on a program for youths on mean girls, and it’s basically everything I would tell myself now… if I could look back at myself and tell myself something about middle school or high school and which could be… talk about journals, I actually kept journals then, I should really burn them. But I do sometimes look back at them and think, oh gosh, I’ve come so far, but when you talk to… it’s a very adult thing to say I don’t have to be friends with everyone. And I think that’s something in middle school and high school when you’re in this social setting of school, you want to be liked by everyone. You want to be friends with everyone. And there are mean girls all over, for whatever reasons, and it’s, if I could have told my middle school self that it’s OK not to be liked by everyone, I would have just had a much better experience.
Kelsey B: 20:29 And that being said, I think it’s important to still be as kind as you can. My mom always used to tell me, kill ’em with kindness. If someone is being mean to you, if someone’s being hurtful or hateful, kill them with kindness and that’s what I try to tell my students is, your friends are going to change. Kelsey and I are grateful to still be friends. I don’t have a lot of friends that I had when I was in elementary school or middle school. Um, your friends are going to change, but that doesn’t mean that you should not still be kind to everyone you come in contact with. That’s easier said than done because there are some people in the world.
Sarah Webb: 21:10 My mother said, kill them with kindness too. And sometimes I would grit my teeth like this, you know, it’s like, why did my mom always made me take the higher road? I get so tired of that. Well, how can our listeners connect with you or learn more about the Kitschy Kountdown?
Kelsey A: 21:30 Well, our podcasts, as you’ve mentioned, is called the kitschy countdown and that can be kind of hard to spell, we’ve realized, so, it’s…
Kelsey B: 21:30 Do a spelling lesson!
Kelsey A: 21:46 I’ll do my best. It’s k, i, t, s, c, h, y and then kountdown is spelled with a “k.” We release new episodes every Monday. It’s on Apple podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen to your podcasts and then our website is kitschykountdown.com. That’s where we post show notes that go with all of our episodes and our favorite social media hangout is Instagram, so you can find us at Kitschy Kountdown there.
Sarah Webb: 22:04 And I’ll be sure to put all those links in our show notes so you can go hang out. I feel like it will just be the three of us hanging out. I’ll be the listening person and I’ll listen to the two of you talk and all. I may even talk to y’all and y’all won’t be there, but that’s kind of how I feel about your podcast, I’m like, “we’re just girls hanging out and I’m part of this conversation, be-boppin in my car because that’s where I listened to them.
Kelsey A: 22:25 It’s funny because some of my friends… we recently moved to Houston and so, kind of getting away from my friends that I made there, I was like, I missed talking to them and they would be, “well, we feel like we talk to you because we listened to your podcast.” And I’m, “OK, well that’s not really fair because I don’t get to talk back to you.” But they feel, “well, we just hung out on Monday.”
Sarah Webb: 22:46 Well thank you for joining Plaid Radio and that’s a wrap.
The Kelseys: 22:46 Thank you!