Have you ever been turned down when you really wanted something? It hurts, I know.

Until I decided to change my money story and start earning more, I NEVER asked for a pay increase. Not once. I was too afraid of rejection and being hurt.

I knew I had to change if I was ever going to earn more. One of the first big steps I took was making a commitment to double my income. The first time I asked for what I wanted, I was on such a high from using my voice that I thought nothing could bring me down.

Not long after, I went for a job I really wanted and didn’t get it. I was devastated. I slipped into such a pit of self-doubt, I thought I would never climb out.

The old tapes started playing in my head for days, saying things like ‘See, you haven’t really changed – it was just wishful thinking’ AND ‘Of course you’re not worth that much.’ I took the rejection as a sign that I wasn’t worth what I was asking for.

Then I remembered something a friend – a very talented saleswoman – once told me. She said it was her job to collect ‘NOs’. Every ‘NO’ she heard from prospects propelled her towards the all-important ‘YES’. Looking at professional rejection in this light meant it hardly fazed her at all. It spurred her on.

Since then, I’ve devised some powerful strategies to overcome rejection. There are 3 coping mechanisms I use that always get me through.

  1. Collect your ‘NOs’
    A ‘NO’ is OK. It’s a necessary part of the process. Think of each ‘NO’ as getting you one step closer to your ‘Y-E-S’.
  2.  Learn from your ‘NOs’
    Once the initial sting has worn off, you can review how the conversation went and learn from it. What worked and what didn’t? See where you can tweak your approach for next time. That’s what kept me going through a series of ‘NOs’.
  3. Stick with it
    I can’t emphasize this enough. It’s natural to be disappointed at first, but don’t let it keep you down for long. Take a day or two to process, learn and then regroup. You’ll be amazed at your own resilience.

I can promise you, it’s ALWAYS worth asking for what you want – no matter what the outcome. Every NO brings you one step closer to a YES. It will always serve you in one way or other.

If you know someone who’s coping with rejection and could use some advice, share this post with them.