What Life Can Look Like After Ceding Control of a Business or Navigating Divorce

As I took in my first pranayrama breath in a 105-degree yoga room at 6:00 am, I let my mind quietly consider this new world I suddenly found myself in. Two and a half months into a major life change, I realized I was not resisting the divorce after 18 years united, but rather the imminent change of life circumstances and uncertainty it came with. The relationship had ceased to be relevant for either of us as we grew apart over the last few years, pursuing completely different directions in life. But the rhythms of everyday life that bound us were still very much a part of me. It was hard jumping into the wild blue yonder – this thing called living by yourself, completely on your own again, with no adult companion to talk with about your day. The man I had cooked for, consoled, and connected with for so many years would not be home for dinner tonight. Or any other night. I had spent almost two decades attached to this person who suddenly let me know he was going away, in no uncertain terms. Of course, I could not disagree that it was time.

But still, letting go can be a painful process, with lots of twists and turns … which reminded me so much of the very real and poignant conversation that I had with Oregon winery pioneer Susan Sokol Blosser of Sokol Blosser Winery. I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Susan on my radio show last June as she described the very painful process of letting go of presiding over a winery she and her previous husband Bill had spent so many years building, only to turn the reins of control to two of her children. Letting go of what has been such a big part of our lives and our identity is extremely challenging. And if we don’t do it well, it can un-do us.

But for Susan, and frankly I hope for me as well, she found that literally “Letting Go Can Mean Having It All,” which is what she named her book. In it, she describes her journey of ceding control of the beloved winery she worked so hard to found and lead for over two decades, and the joyous new life she has discovered after her departure. They say you can only understand someone’s journey if you walk in their shoes. I guess in some ways, I am walking in Susan’s mud-encrusted, winery-trodding shoes as I leave behind an 18-year relationship, with all its tethers, and jump into the wide abyss of the unknown. Though it’s a radical change, and the earth is currently unstable under my feet, I do believe and embrace the idea that letting go can really mean having it all. Already, the vista of possibilities is opening to me, like a rainbow beautifully emerging after a long rain. I don’t know what lies ahead for me – but I do believe there is something immensely greater on the other side of this legal wall of dividing assets and deciding custody arrangements than on the side I currently face. And I cannot wait to see what greets me as I leap over the fence to the other side. Take a listen to Susan’s interview, and tell me if you can relate to either of our stories of letting go: http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/85611/when-letting-go-can-mean-finding-it-all