Home & Family

Living Beyond Limits

Terrhonda Hillman
By Terrhonda Hillman

The sky is not my limit…I am.

T.F. Hodge

What is holding you back?  You have dreams that you want to fulfill, but something prevents you from moving towards that which burns deep inside of you.  You use excuses such as the lack of time or money that is needed to invest in that one thing that you’ve always wanted to do.  Then, there is fear.  You fear that you may fail.  All of this boils down to not having the faith, courage, and/or belief in yourself.  You may look at your loved ones and resolve that they are the reasons you cannot pursue your passion.  You may feel that investing time and energy into yourself will cause you to neglect their needs.  The truth is, however, that you are the only person that can prevent you from pursuing your dreams.

For many years, I used those same excuses.  I told myself that I could not pursue a writing and speaking career because I didn’t have the money or the college degree that would make me more credible.  Embracing that fixed and limited mindset caused me to continue living an ordinary life.  I thought that this was the easiest path for me, but the truth was that this path was the most difficult.  I often found myself sad, miserable, and depressed.  At the time, I hadn’t realized the reason for my emotional roller coaster, so I continued to live in that space.  Looking back, I refer to that period in my life as my “journey through the wilderness.”  It was a dark place, but at some moments, I would see a very dim light, a glimmer of hope.  I had no direction or intention for my life, but something inside of me kept gently nudging me to keep going.  I just continued to exist by going through the motions, robotically, not being an active participant in my life.  I recall saying, “I feel like my life is living me and I am not living my life.” Things just seem to happen and most of the time these were negative experiences.  I was like a leaf in the wind allowing life to carry me in whatever direction it chose to blow.  I had no self-confidence and very low self-esteem.  I used to blame others for my miserable existence–but one day, I decided to change.  I began to look at my life as an observer not allowing any self-condemnation.  I chose to pick myself up from that very low place.  This was not easy, and I met myself with resistance at every turn, but I persevered.

As an observer, I paid attention to what I allowed into my life.  I began to monitor the television programs I watched, the music I listened to, and the type of friends I allowed to speak into my most vulnerable space–my mind.  I began to strip away those things that did not serve me and replace them with things that would help me to be my highest self-such as, reading motivational books and listening to inspiring talks and lectures.  All it took was one step to change my mindset.  Once I chose to do better, I attracted those things that would make me better.  I began to believe in myself, and my life began to unfold into something so beautiful that it is difficult to describe.  I learned that we attract what we are–and when I was miserable–I attracted more of what made me miserable.

It took me nearly two years to become the person I am today, and I am still evolving.  I am now the published author of my first book, Daughter of the Other Woman.  I record a monthly podcast encouraging others to live life fully.  I own my own cleaning business, and I am finally in the most loving relationship with the man of my dreams.  My life changed because I changed.  I discovered that the sky is not my limit – I am.  I am the author and director of my own book of life and I choose to have a happy ending.

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