No Mean Girls Allowed

Marie Valden
By Marie Valden |Fort Worth, TX

No Mean Girls Allowed, what the heck. How do you exclude mean girls? You don’t. But what you can do is to create an atmosphere of camaraderie, support and of truth, which is an atmosphere they do not thrive in.

You see, mean girls don’t look a certain way. They don’t stand out in a crowd or wear a scarlet letter on their sleeves. And, some women don’t discover they’re in the presence of a mean girl until it’s too late and feelings are hurt or worse.

You see a mean girl is just a misguided female who has been lied to, robbed of something precious or injured in some way. They feel the only way to get what they want or deserve is to take it from someone else or at the very least make someone else as unhappy as they have been.

So, if you can’t see a mean girl coming how do you protect yourself. You create a tight bond with women who aren’t mean and who care about the success of others as well as themselves, women who genuinely support each others efforts, women who give back as much if not more than they receive. That is Plaid for Women.

When I first met Sarah Zink, in a coffee shop on Magnolia, I was first struck by her candor then by her relaxed demeanor and as the conversation went on by her heart. I wanted to align myself with a group who could aid me in getting back into the world after my divorce. I was married for 31 years so it was no easy task. Sarah and Shivaun, at every opportunity, have demonstrated true concern over my success as a writer and contributor to the Plaid for Women organization. It’s not because they like me more or that we are just a part of some click, it’s because they treat all women with the same unending and equal fairness, truth and care. As we all should. As women we are all a part of something much bigger than our individual selves and when banded together we can do anything, create peace or put an end to our suffering. We are capable of bringing life into this world and making sure it grows and thrives so why can’t we just get along.

There will always be mean girls. No campaign will eradicate mean from anyone but those women who turn out to be mean girls don’t last long in a safe, friendly, cooperative environment. As Plaid for Women grows so does the potential for all of the women involved.

You will see more articles on Mean Girls as they make headlines and show their true colors and you will read about how we as individuals can support these women and perhaps help them to become Plaid Women.

Anne Lamot wrote on her Facebook page: “Everyone is screwed up, broken, clingy, and scared, even the people who seem to have it more or less together. They are much more like you than you would believe. So try not to compare your insides to their outsides. Also, you can’t save, fix or rescue any of them, or get any of them sober. But radical self-care is quantum, and radiates out into the atmosphere, like a little fresh air. It is a huge gift to the world. When people respond by saying, “Well, isn’t she full of herself,” smile obliquely, like Mona Lisa, and make both of you a nice cup of tea.”

Marie Valden
Marie Valden |Fort Worth, TX
I have four beautiful, talented, intelligent and charismatic daughters. Two perfect granddaughters. A career as an author, poet and a publisher. I was divorced after 30 years of marriage, yeah, I know, but it happens. It was only a chapter...Read More
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One response to “No Mean Girls Allowed”

  1. Sue says:

    I really enjoyed your article. As we speak my 3 1/2 year old granddaughter has been in Cook’s Children’s hospital since March 29th with meningioencephalitis, brain infection and inflammation. While my precious little one’s recovery is painfully slow, the Mean Girl is ever present in the form of my son’s mother-in-law. She is mean to me and derogatory to my son, who has been a dedicated father and husband during this very difficult time. I have taken the high road, prayed that her heart be softened and have reached out to thank her for all that she has done to support her daughter and our granddaughter. My son loves her daughter and his child. It is impossible for me to understand how she can be mean when we are all on the same team. I’ve come to the conclusion that some mean girls enjoy being nasty and hurtful and have “perfected” the mean behavior.

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