Sometimes prioritizing my well-being means doing something I don’t enjoy, like letting something go. Not because I’ve stopped caring about it. Not because it doesn’t matter. But because holding onto it — at least right now — costs me more than it gives back. The weight of it may be invisible to everyone else, but I feel it in my shoulders, in my calendar, in the way I sigh before I start another task.
Letting Go
And here’s the part that surprises people: it doesn’t feel like relief at first. It feels awkward. Guilty. A little selfish. Letting go often comes with a voice in my head whispering, “You should be able to handle this. Other women do.”
For years, I equated self-care with adding things: a walk, a book, a weekend away — like layering soft blankets over a tired body. But blankets don’t help if you’re still carrying a heavy backpack. The truth I’ve learned is this — sometimes the most caring thing you can do for yourself is subtract. Remove the weight. Make space. Create room for breath.
Rule of 2s
Over time, I’ve started telling myself: No more than two. I call it my “Rule of 2s”. It might mean two tasks on my desk, two errands on my list, or two projects I’m actively pouring energy into. Any more than that, and I feel the fray begin — my attention scatters, my patience thins, and even the most important things get only a part of me. The Rule of 2s forces me to choose with intention and to let something wait its turn.
When I notice the creeping overwhelm, it’s my cue that something has to be trimmed back, put on pause, or handed to someone else. Sometimes this looks like limiting myself to two new things at a time — for example, catching up on laundry and scheduling a long-overdue appointment, but not also starting a major decluttering spree that week. Other times, especially when life feels loud, I zoom all the way in and ask, “What are the two most important things right now?” On the busiest days, those two might be as simple as replying to one important email and making sure I eat lunch. This isn’t about doing less forever — it’s about creating a manageable focus in the moment so I can move forward without burning out.
Choosing What to Cut
The cutting isn’t always easy. In fact, it rarely is. But over time, I’ve learned a few ways to make it gentler:
- Check your energy ledger — Pay attention to what consistently drains you versus what restores you. This can help you see what’s quietly costing you more than you realized.
- Name the non-negotiables — Identify what matters most in this season. Keep those and let the rest wait its turn.
- Try a pause — Give yourself permission to step away from something for two weeks. Often, you’ll discover that the world doesn’t fall apart — and sometimes, you don’t even miss it.
- Say no with care — A kind but clear, “I can’t take that on right now” is enough. You don’t have to over-explain.
Well-being doesn’t always look like a scented candle and a bath. Sometimes it looks like an open space on your calendar, a deep exhale, and the freedom to show up fully for the things that remain. If you find yourself stretched thin, remember this: caring for yourself may not always feel comfortable in the moment. It might feel uncertain, awkward, or even like you’re letting someone down. But in time, you’ll notice the subtle rewards — more energy, more presence, and the ability to live your life instead of just managing it. This is what peace can feel like.
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