There is an art to quiet confidence and it is no prettier than when it is worn by a woman. You know her when you see her at a meeting in the office. She is understated, yet powerful. Her silence is presence enough. She doesn’t have to fill the room with noise.

I think there are a few main ingredients to building confidence for women. Below is a set of rules that you can try for a week to develop confidence.

Rule # 1
Stay away from media or limit cyber time. This includes TV. The media has dozens of messages in an hour that color a woman in an unfavorable light. Over time, this seeds our perception. You wouldn’t drink poison so why would you spend 15 hours a week watching TV or surfing the net. Mind your mind.

Rule #2
Cultivate the disposition to do the things you hate doing. Last month I covered an entire article on running towards things you don’t like. Doing this squashes fear inside you. Over time you are poised. You know why? You begin to trust yourself.

Rule #3
Look at what you tell yourself. The most important habit a person can get into is watching their thoughts. Thoughts are not real. They are nothing at all unless you attach to them. Try it. When you wake up in the morning, what is the first thought in your head? Pay attention. This is where the root of insecurity lies. In your mind.

Rule #4
Don’t gather more information. Do something. Many of us read volumes of self help books, but fail to implement one small concept. In fact, most of your ‘problem’ is believing something is ‘wrong with you’. There is nothing wrong with you. Believe that thought leads to more insecurities.

and finally….
Let it go. Whatever your ex husband, boyfriend, father or boss told you that really hurt you deep inside is nothing but a festering pack of lies. Believing what everyone said about you starts a victim mentality mindset. Victims run from situation to situation to validate that they are…what? Victims!

Let go of every false belief you’ve ever had about yourself.