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The Negotiation Within

Terrhonda Hillman
By Terrhonda Hillman

Everyday we are faced with choices.  Do I go right, or do I go left? Do I spend or save? Do I eat the cake or make a healthier choice?  The negotiations begin as soon as the alarm clock goes off.  Do I get up or hit snooze?  You may hear yourself say, “I am still tired, just five more minutes.” Then you may hear yourself say, “But if I hit snooze, I may be late for work again.”  The negotiation continues until the strongest voice wins, or should I say the more influential voice wins.  The negotiations persist throughout the entire day and by evening you are totally drained by the battle within.  In the end, who finally wins the negotiation?  It depends on your mindset and the vividness of your intentions.  The goal is to overcome weaknesses and bad choices that do not contribute to your over all growth.  We learn throughout life that defeat first happens in your mind.  Whether your goal is to eat healthier or to get a promotion, your success or failure highly depends on what you believe.  Do you believe that you can resist junk food and eat healthy? Do you believe you have what it takes to get the promotion? If you do not believe that you can do a thing, you are already defeated.  Henry Ford stated, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right.”  The goal is to create a strong and health-oriented mindset to develop the favorable negotiator.  The voice of the favorable negotiator must be well-informed and more convincing than the voice of the unfavorable negotiator whose main goal is to be comfortable and avoid challenges.  Here are a few ways to develop the favorable negotiator:

  1. Do not hit snooze. Start each morning with a win by not allowing the unfavorable negotiator to convince you to sleep for another five minutes.  Remind yourself that the extra five minutes is not going to make you feel any less tired and may cause you to be late for work.
  2. Create goals.  What do you want?  What is your definite chief aim in life?  Figure out what you want in life and set goals that lead you to your purpose.  Having goals and following the necessary steps to reach your goals increases your confidence and causes negotiations to result in wise decisions.  It is easier to resist temptation when you have clear intentions and a strong desire to accomplish a goal.
  3. Do things that keep you motivated.  Affirmations, affirmations, affirmations.  Always keep positive affirmations visible.  These may be affirmations that you created for yourself or borrowed from someone else, it does not matter.  The biggest challenge for most is believing the affirmation to be true.  Once again, the negotiation begins within.  You recite a positive affirmation and the unfavorable negotiator tells you that it is not true.  This happens to all of us.  The way that I overcome the naysayer within is to tell myself that I am affirming the God that dwells inside of me.  I am merely summonsing God to reveal itself through me.  That is it.  It is not about what I can do, but what God can do.  Whatever the affirmation is, believe that with God, all things are possible.  The unfavorable negotiator can not argue with that, so the favorable negotiator wins.
  4. Accept missing the mark. Notice that I did not say accept failure or losing because we never fail or lose.  Sometimes we must change directions.  For example, think of a time when using your GPS system in your car and you missed your turn.  Did the GPS, “Oh, well. You failed.  Turn around and go back home.” No, the GPS reroutes you and continues to the destination.  We must do the same thing when we miss the mark.  When one door closes, another door opens.  If you stop at the closed door, you will never see the door that opened.  Do not give up, just change your course.  The only way to not succeed is to quit.
  5. Be patient and take time to smell the roses.  Wake up every morning with great expectations.  Each morning practice visualizing everything going great.  Expect to have fun along the journey.  And when you fall by allowing the unfavorable negotiator to win a negotiation, do not fret.  Dust yourself off and get back on task.  Maintaining a positive mindset requires time and patience. Winning is not defined by speed, winners are formed by enduring.
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