Managing your Mental Load
“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” ~Lou Holtz
Many days you come home, exhausted, and all you want is to collapse on the couch and take a well-deserved nap. But instead, your mind keeps spinning: What’s for dinner? Did you RSVP to that work event? Did laundry get put into the dryer? This invisible checklist, your dreaded mental load, can leave you feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and depleted by the end of the day.
Mental load refers to the cognitive effort involved in managing tasks. It’s not just doing the work, but also planning, organizing, anticipating, and decision-making that go into getting things done. For example, planning a Labor Day barbecue might sound fun, but it can quickly become a source of stress when you are the one thinking through the guest list, coordinating who brings what, shopping for supplies, and making sure everything runs smoothly. The party has not even started, and you are already exhausted.
Women, particularly mothers, often carry most of the mental load due to societal expectations of being the primary caregiver and household manager. It’s no surprise that many women find themselves facing burnout without even realizing it. But the good news is, there are ways to manage and even lighten this burden.
First, get in sync with your partners.
For this, communication is key. Whether your “team” includes a spouse, children, roommates, coworkers, or friends, you need to talk regularly and openly about the load you are carrying. People cannot help if they do not know what you’re dealing with. Set aside a weekly check-in and ask questions like, “What can be taken off your plate this week?” or “Is there anything we should plan ahead for?” Small conversations can create big shifts in how responsibilities are shared.
Second, let go of perfection.
Delegation means really letting go, not just handing off the task, but also giving up control of how it’s done. A spotless kitchen or perfectly folded laundry is not worth your mental health when you have a million other tasks. Instead of trying to excel at everything, lean into what energizes you and release what drains you. This does not mean things will not get done; it means you are making space for your well-being.
Finally, let people surprise you.
When you try to do everything yourself, you rob others of the chance to step up. Delegating is not a sign of weakness; it’s an invitation for others to participate. Trust your partner, friend, or child to complete the task their way, even if it’s not how you would have done it. Mistakes are part of growth, and giving others room to learn can lighten your load in the long run.
Financial planning is often left on the back burner, but a major source of mental load for many women. Keeping track of bills, budgeting, saving, and long-term planning takes a huge cognitive toll. Streamlining your finances with tools like automated payments, budget apps, or working with a financial advisor can dramatically increase confidence. Just like working in routine check-in questions, consider holding monthly financial check-ins. Think of it like a money date with yourself. When your finances are organized and you feel in control of your future, you reclaim mental space that can be spent elsewhere.
You do not have to carry the weight of the world on your own. Managing your mental load is not about doing less but about doing what matters better. Create supportive systems, add communication tactics, let go of perfection, and ask for support. Your sanity is worth protecting and you deserve to feel rested, not just responsible.
Marilyn Suey
CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER ®
Certified Exit Plan Advisor
Accredited Investment Fiduciary®
Certified Plan Fiduciary Advisor®
marilyn.suey@diamondgroupwealthadvisors.com
Marilyn Suey is a Registered Representative with, and securities and Retirement Plan Consulting Program advisory services offered through LPL Financial, a registered investment advisor, member FINRA/SIPC. Other advisory services offered through Mariner Independent Advisor Network, LLC a Registered Investment Advisor. The Diamond Group Wealth Advisors and Mariner Independent Advisor Network, LLC are separate entities from LPL Financial.CA Insurance License #0E01981
Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards Center for Financial Planning, Inc. owns and licenses the certification mark CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER ® in the United States to Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards, Inc., which authorizes individuals who successfully complete the organization’s initial and ongoing certification requirements to use the certification mark.
Marilyn is the Founder and CEO of The Diamond Group Wealth Advisors. She is a nationally recognized Financial Educator, Author, Speaker, and Wealth Manager, who you may have seen on NBC, ABC, CBS and FOX network affiliates and Yahoo News, Wall Street Journal’s Market Watch, Wall Street Select and others. Marilyn and her team at The Diamond Group Wealth Advisors have been showing business owners, healthcare professionals, and executives how to accumulate, preserve, and pass on their wealth for almost 20 years. Marilyn developed The Prosperity Blue Print , a five-step wealth planning process, that includes strategy for Wealth Accumulation, Wealth Preservation, and planning for your ideal retirement lifestyle. She founded the Savvy Women Community where she shares her wisdom and experience with like-minded women. She received an MBA from the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania and a degree in Applied Math and Economics from UC Berkeley. To schedule your complimentary Lifestyle Upgrade Assessment, call: (925) 219-0080 or email; marilyn.suey@diamondgroupwealthadvisors.com
