I went through a phase about two years ago where I was extremely focused on ego disintegration. Whatever it took to obliterate my ego – I was in. What I found was, if you really want to crush the ego, the best way to do it is to say yes to everything you loathe.

I’m serious.

I used to coin this theory as the “I hate you. Let’s go to lunch. Seriously. I’ll even buy.”

Fast forward to today and a good friend of mine joke about having a challenge pop up or a strong emotion present itself with the notion of running towards it, instead of shrinking and recoiling. If I hate it run, run, RUN towards it, for there lies the biggest growth of my life and the path to being able to navigate situations. The problem is never outside, it’s always how I perceive it.

What I have found through this exercise is there are no problems. My mind creates them.

Let me give an example of how this works. We all have co workers we don’t like. Instead of seething at your desk, invite them to lunch. See what they are about. Notice the feelings rise in you. Or, take on that project at work that no one wants (including you). Do it because you hate it. Do it until you feel like you are smiling and your face will crack, but do it. Or, a biggie for most women, ask for the raise. See what happens.

Run towards the dislikes in life.

Where does confidence come into play with this theory?

Confidence is built over time by doing the things that scare you. Confidence is built over time by seeing that you didn’t die from a situation, but was merely uncomfortable. Do a few more exercises like that and before you know it, you feel stable, calm, poised.

Notice how many times during one single day you think, ” I don’t like that” or ” I don’t like him or her”.

Know that is your moment of glory. Seize it. Run towards it.

What you will find it is will disappear because it came of nothing.


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