So, Mother’s Day is approaching fast. Folks all over rummage the card isle for that one perfect card. The card is the most important in my book. It has to say all of the right things to express how grateful you are to that one special lady. But what if you don’t have the same feelings towards your mom? What if there is disappointment and heartache where love and admiration should be? I dread this time of year. I hate standing amongst the masses trying to find the perfect card. For me, I look for a card to say the basics “Thanks for brining me into this world.”

My mom is a nice lady. She cares for others and loves children but she is selfish. When I was growing up I idolized her. She had a smile that could warm a room in seconds. But, like most women, she fell apart while raising me and my sister. She just did not know how to raise two girls on her own. My dad worked out of town and she got sick. Once the sickness sat in, she gave up. She got addicted to pills and depending on them to get through the day. She never got out of bed and unfortunately days turned into years. Watching your idol throw in the towel at 12-years-old is pretty tough to swallow.

Now 31-years-old, I have a child. When I found out I was pregnant I was scared to death. How can I be a good mom when I didn’t really have one? My mom gave up. Did that mean I would be like her? What if I am a great mom for the few years and then I stop trying? Those questions haunted me daily. I didn’t have a mom to look up to in my adult years. I didn’t have someone to teach me how to save for college or educate me about financial stability. When you are pretty much on your own, you wing it. But now I have a kiddo and that changes things.

I am grateful for The Parenting Center. It would only make sense for me to work for a place that focuses on helping mothers, like myself, when raising children. I wish this type of support was offered to my mother when I was little. See my mom wasn’t a bad person, she just didn’t know what she was doing. Life and stress were too hard for her to handle. This happens to parents every day. Thankfully, we have help. I have help.

My beautiful daughter is about to be two-years-old. Her daddy and I high-five and we share a laugh on her birthday. We celebrate in saying “She is still alive and healthy, so we must be doing something right!” We are new parents with a tough past. That statement is part of what made me the mom I am today. I am thankful for my mom. I love and honor my family and appreciate the life I have, because of that lovely lady. No, she did not know how to be a mom, but because of her, I do.

Written by Crystal Cardwell – Marketing/Development Director at The Parenting Center

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