It’s the holidays again and that old familiar feeling kicks in. You know the one. The oh-my-God how will I ever get all the shopping/holiday meal/family plans together before the 25th and still make everyone happy? Welcome to overwhelmed, which most (if not all) women feel as the holidays approach.
This is one of the many times that we silently lie to ourselves in the guise of being the ‘good wife’ or ‘good mother’ or …fill in the blank.
Being overwhelmed is a slippery slope that often leads to bitterness.
So why is it women have a hard time saying no and what are the excuses they tell themselves?
Here are three things you think or may even say that you’ll want to reexamine as 2017 approaches.
Lie number One:
Time – as in I don’t have enough. The technology that was supposed to make our lives better sucks time out of us. Think of all the hours or email, text messages and social media we spend only to find ourselves more disappointed, more disconnected and unsatisfied than ever. Instead of being a slave to the phone or computer, consider giving yourself purposeful breaks from technology. I actually found myself watching TV and using my phone to google something which told me a lot about myself.
Lie number Two:
Money – as in I don’t have enough. This may be true or not true. Do you know exactly where the money goes? Do you really not have enough or is the money allocated to things you don’t need or want. Every year in November, my husband and I write our yearly budget and look at the current year. We make a financial plan from there and stick to it. Imagine my surprise when he gently alerted me that I spend – are you ready for this – eighty dollars a month at Starbucks. It made me stop hard and look at my own excuses.
Lie number Three:
Energy – as in I don’t have enough. Energy is one of those things that falls right after time. If you don’t have the time and are tired, then you may not have the energy. Be bold this upcoming year. Go through your social media and ‘throw out’ people that suck the life out of you. Take a very hard look at the people you call your friends. Are they? Recently my girlfriend and I defined the term ‘friend’. Here is what we decided: If you are over 50 and think someone is your true friend, call them and ask them to take you to your colonoscopy. If they won’t take you or you wouldn’t dare ask, consider that deeply. True female friends are the ones you laugh with, cry with, go through a divorce with or a health issue. It’s ok to have acquaintances, but know the difference between that and a real friend. Suddenly, it will become very clear where you want to spend your energy.
Lies and excuses exist because we do what we feel we should do or what we want to do. It may not always be the best choice, but regardless, it’s a choice.
A great sage told me once, “Do what’s best, not what you want to do.”