After suffering a missed miscarriage last October, I was excited and anxious to learn I was pregnant again this August. My husband and I were both optimistic that this pregnancy was the answer to our prayers for a healthy, happy addition to our family.
Our joy quickly turned to heartbreak yet again.
A week after seeing our little one’s heartbeat, it stopped.
It was the worst kind of déjà vu.
Emotions that I’d already healed from the first miscarriage—despair, anger, abandonment—resurfaced as I began to grieve. But this time, I was more than upset; I was also incredibly confused.
I’d done everything I could to stay positive and keep my energy aligned with love, not fear. I’d visualized a healthy, full-term pregnancy and could clearly see and feel myself holding a newborn in my arms. I’d used all the spiritual tools I’ve learned over the years to bring forth this baby, but it still wasn’t enough.
I was so close to getting what I wanted only to have it taken away again. It left my mind overflowing with unanswered questions, doubts, fears, and judgments against myself and my divine support system.
Why did this happen again? Did I not learn my lessons last time? Did I fail in some way? What more can I do? What should I do differently? Why give us hope only to rip it away? Why aren’t you supporting us in getting what we want?
I wanted answers, and I wanted them now. I needed something to grasp onto to make sense of this loss so that I wouldn’t end up in a hopeless downward spiral.
So, I turned to meditation to quiet the relentless chatter and find some peace. In a moment of silence, I heard a soft inner voice whisper,
“What you seek is seeking you.”
These magic words softened my heart immediately, like a balm for my grieving spirit. I sat with this insight for a while to let it sink in, and I’ve been contemplating it for some time now.
I believe there is profound truth in these words.
We all have deeply held desires. For me, it’s having a baby. For others, it’s finding a partner, landing a dream job, traveling the world, starting a business, moving to a new country, or thousands of other wishes big and small.
Whatever’s in your heart is there on purpose. The reason you want something so deeply is because it’s meant for you.
Your dreams are divinely inspired. Whatever you so desperately want to be, do, or have in your life is something that your soul wants you to experience. It’s constantly nudging you toward the things that will bring you joy, growth, and personal fulfillment.
But when your dreams feel seemingly just out of reach—like mine often does—it’s easy to become frustrated and impatient. You start questioning if you’ll ever get what you want, or if you’re even capable of achieving the thing you want most. Doubt creeps in and turns your excitement of what could be into fear of what might never be.
I know what it’s like to question everything and slip into negativity when things aren’t going your way. But I also know a way out of the fear.
Let go and learn to trust in divine timing and divine order.
What you seek is seeking you, but you can’t always control when or how it will come to you. Sometimes there are reasons beyond your understanding that temporarily keep your desires at bay. This is where trust comes in. Release your tight grip on the situation and trust that all is being worked out on your behalf.
What you seek will find its way to you. It might not be on your schedule and it might not look the way you had imagined, but it—or something better—will come to you. Trust in the divine plan, make peace with what is, and continue to move forward with faith and an open heart.