Have you ever felt like you were going to be found out as a fraud? Well you are not alone…Tiny Fey, Sheryl Sandberg and Meryl Streep have all admitted to feeling like this at some point in their careers.
For many years I lived with the ‘Fraud Factor’ – that voice telling me that my work wasn’t good enough, I didn’t belong on the team, or at the table, and sooner or later I was going to be found out.
What I do know is that the ‘Fraud Factor’ LOVES to hang out at the workplace and it can really make life hard for women at work. Here is my personal journey of overcoming the ‘Fraud Factor’.
At a time when I was in over US $180,000 worth of credit card debt, I was living my life in total denial.
In retrospect, I was probably doing a good job at work as I was getting great feedback from colleagues and leaders but I dismissed their feedback.
I thought I wasn’t as capable as other people around me. I certainly didn’t recognize that by comparing myself to others, I was overlooking my own value and doubting myself.
I didn’t correlate how living with the ‘Fraud Factor’ was influencing my chances of success, recognition and understanding the value I was offering.
Instead I thought spending money would help me become someone of value. It was only when I came out of denial and started to explore my relationship with money that I was able to see how the Fraud Factor had been running my life.
Are you living with the Fraud Factor but don’t even know it?
I believe there are four tell tale signs that underpin the behaviors and values of ‘Fraud Factor’, many of which subside deep in your sub consciousness.
- Struggling with perfectionism and unconsciously undermining yourself – this means that you think if things are not 100% perfect, they are not good enough, which is often not the case at all.
- Constantly comparing yourself to others – feeling like you don’t belong in that particular ‘group’ or ‘crowd’ and that you won’t be able to contribute equally. This is often a reflection of self-confidence and not a reflection of your worth.
- Doubting your place on a team or your contributions at work – feeling like you are not valued or recognized.
- Being unable to ask for a raise or promotion because you’re always talking contribution downwards – this is really a form of self-sabotage.
Moving beyond and taking control
One of the key steps in moving beyond the ‘Fraud Factor’ is acknowledging your unique skills and the value you offer the world. Based on my own journey of turning my money ship around, I like to offer women three tips that helped me start thinking about my self-worth and recognizing that my contribution was something truly of value.
1. Be grateful in receiving praise and compliments that are given to you by keeping a journal for your own self-confidence and for negotiations in the future. This way you can refer to real-life events and remember and relive the sense of empowerment you feel at the actual time of receiving the praise.
2. Go out of your way to praise others: be specific and detailed in your feedback. You will be amazed at how easily your simple comment can actually make someone’s day and help them build their own self confidence.
3. Talk kindly to yourself every day and note your own worth.
Once you start building deposits in the bank of self-confidence, you will start to view the world differently. Above all, remember that “If I am on the team and I’m in the room, I belong at the table”.
Understand your money relationship
Earlier I shared with you how it was only when I started to look at my relationship with money that I was able to know my real value and worth. I learned that my thoughts and beliefs influenced every single interaction I had with money.
If you’re ready to identify your relationship with money I have the tool to help.
Doing the Money Style Finder quiz will tell you what your relationship with money is and how to work with it so that you can show up in the world as the truly extraordinary woman you are. Why don’t you spend a few minutes learning more about your relationship with money. Just visit my website http://alicecrawley.com and follow the link to “Take the Money Style Finder Quiz” to receive a personalized report straight in your inbox today.
Yours in wonder,