I am not sure why I am writing this blog on www.plaid.wpengine.com, except for the fact that I do know a lot about women. In fact, I am an expert on women. I am married to one. I also have a mom, a daughter, a sister and five sisters-in-law.

These days, here at our retirement haven in Arizona, I rule a domicile of three. There’s yours truly, the wife, Lois, and our dog, Millie. As I said, I rule this domicile.

We’ve been married for 43 years and it has been a long and tedious effort to get these ladies trained to do everything just the way I like it!

Lois & John Dittrich

Lois and John Dittrich

For example, I like to have a nice long walk every night just before sunset. Sunsets are beautiful in Arizona. Of course, the dog and the wife accompany me per my wishes. I also enjoy picking up after the dog when she has “done her business”. So, I’ve trained Lois to allow me to pick up the doggy doo-doo.

Yes, indeed, I have little Millie trained as well. I insist on rubbing her belly at least twice a day for 15 minutes or more. I have also trained her to allow me to give her a doggie treat for just about any reason or for no reason at all. Other things I have trained Millie to do include sleeping on my side of the bed while I enjoy a comfortable night on the sofa.

I’ve also trained Lois on handling all of our financial matters so that I do not have to be bothered. I demanded that she give me a weekly allowance that I might enjoy, so every Saturday, she presents me with a $20 bill. No questions asked as to how I am going to spend it! No sir!

Meanwhile, I have finally trained Lois to allow me to make the morning coffee and load the dishwasher every day as well as other pleasant retirement activities such as vacuuming the carpet, making the bed or even dusting.

I also insist upon preparing the martinis for our sit on the porch in the evening with the pup on a regular basis. I’ve trained Lois to enjoy a Cosmopolitan with no lime or lime juice and a lemon twist. I demand that she like it this way.

How do I manage to get these females to bend to my every wish, you ask? Well, I learned one thing from my wife over the years. Always make them think it was THEIR IDEA!

Yes, indeed, it is a man’s world at our house! I demand it. I ALWAYS have the last word on everything…. “yes ma’am.”!


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