Over the years, I have met many individuals who may find themselves at a career crossroads, being ‘riffed’ in the latest downsizing, or perhaps even due to their age (and yes, this does happen despite what some HR departments will admit) have been given ‘early retirement’. What I have noticed is that there is a distinct difference in those that allow the outside circumstances to define ‘how they show up’ and those that know (and remember, despite what has happened) who they are AND how they have contributed throughout their careers, as a professional.

So, for those that are being hit by unforeseen situations and may feel they have ‘lost that loving feeling’ for themselves, it may be helpful to revisit the basics of how to embrace that ‘magnetic personality’ and integrate these foundational principals into their daily lives. What I know for sure is this: professionals (regardless of their position, industry, or rank) who have this magnetism and irresistible energy are the ones that attract AND keep clients, mentors, followers, and supporters throughout their careers.

Tip 1:

The foundational reality is something we all know intellectually, and perhaps even spiritually – which is: our value, our happiness, and our ‘inner alignment’ comes from within ourselves. There is no ‘there – there’; there is here. Here is within our hearts and souls. These magnetic professionals KNOW this. They know that their ‘worth’ is not defined by their company, their boss, society, or any other external metric system. This truism lays the foundation for their behaviors in their thoughts, words, and deeds; and how they show up, with this quiet confidence, puts folks at ease and amazingly makes THEM feel ‘good about themselves’. Remember – energy begets energy and this is no exception. Successful individuals – regardless of their profession, their status, the state (or pace) of their careers, or the position in which they may find themselves – always exude a humble, quiet confidence.


Tip 2:

Because these individuals know their worth, they do not put on a facade or pretense. They do not feel the need to name drop, brag, or impress others. They do not try too hard. Their reputation almost always precedes them. Though, they are successful, they NEVER forget from where they came; nor do they feel they are better than others sitting around the table. They treat everyone equally; and as my father always has said: ‘they realize everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time’. They truly integrate the Golden Rule into their lives – and treat everyone with the love and respect they would desire for themselves. They are very comfortable in their own skins; and this makes others feel comfortable with them.


Tip 3:

They focus 100% on others. They listen with passionate curiosity and focus intently on the other person. This past weekend, I actually watched an individual wring the proverbial water from a turnip by using this strategy. She listened with her entire body: eyes, smile, hands, and posture. I watched her from across the room, and was intrigued with how the other person (a virtual stranger) leaned into her and was eating out of her hand before the short 10 minute exchange was over. It simply was NOT about her – is was 100% about the other person. She did NOT paste a fake smile on her face; she smiled when there was something worth smiling about – nothing more, nothing less.


So, here is the straight and skinny:

folks that have that magnetic attraction of others know who they are, have an air of quiet confidence, and always put their focus 100% on others. There is nothing new about these truisms…..yet, the magic is integrating them into our lives and behaviors.