For many families, owning a home remains one of the most cherished expressions of the American dream. A December 2025 USA Today article placed the average lifetime cost of owning a home at $957,594, a figure best understood as a broad estimate because housing costs vary widely by market, timing, and household circumstances. Even so, it offers a useful opportunity to ask a deeper question: how should families think about homeownership as part of a wise and lasting approach to achieving financial freedom? I like to define financial freedom roughly as having passive, residual income sufficient to support a desired lifestyle. With this definition in mind, here are some thoughts about home ownership.
Myth #1
A personal residence is unquestionably a normal family’s greatest expense. One school of thought, popularized by Robert Kiyosaki, argues that a home is not, however, and asset. Instead, it functions more like a liability. He defines asset as anything that generates cash flow and liabilities as expenses that subtract from cash flow. Because it continually draws cash from the household through mortgage payments, taxes, insurance, and maintenance, a home would be considered a liability. Whether or not one fully accepts that definition, the broader lesson is worth considering: a primary residence should be viewed realistically. It may build equity over time, but it also carries substantial ongoing costs that can limit a family’s freedom to pursue other opportunities.
Myth #2
Paying off the mortgage means the property is owned. In reality, a home with no mortgage still carries ongoing obligations such as property taxes, insurance, HOA dues, and, in some cases, limitations related to mineral or land-use rights. If those obligations are neglected, the consequences can be serious, including penalties, liens, legal action, and, in severe cases, loss of the property. The point is not to diminish the benefit of having zero mortgage payment, but to remember that ownership is more conditional and complex than many people assume.
Reframe Our Thinking
To approach this dream wisely, we must reframe our thinking. If a home is likely to become the largest financial commitment a household ever makes, the goal should not simply be to buy as much house as possible. The wiser aim is to choose a home in a way that protects and secures comfortable development for the family, preserves freedom, and leaves room for future opportunity.
As always, nothing in this article should be taken as financial advice; these are simply general reflections on prudence, responsibility, and long-term planning. A good first step in thinking about homeownership is to identify the deeper need beneath the desire. At its heart, the need is for shelter: a secure, welcoming place to live, make memories, and share life together. From that perspective, ownership is not always the best immediate answer.
Season of Life
In some seasons of life, renting or another arrangement may better serve the larger responsibilities and long-term goals of an individual or family. Living another family member or with a friends may satisfy a short-term need or even provide a permanent solution for some people. Once the decision to buy has been made, however, the better question may not be, “How much house can I afford?” but rather, “How much mortgage should I take on if I hope to leave room for larger goals in the years ahead?”
The advice of real estate agents and mortgage bankers is valuable, but should be weighed with wisdom and care. You should always consider the overarching plans and dreams for personal financial freedom. Many of these professionals serve families with integrity, yet their compensation structure provides ample incentive for them to sell more expensive homes, and their education and training is slanted. They may honestly believe that clients will be happier purchasing a bigger, better house –right now. For this reason, buyers should measure every recommendation against their own long-term responsibilities and goals, not simply against the maximum they are told they can afford.
Don’t Assume
Another caution warns against assuming that a home will reliably appreciate in value. Markets can stagnate or decline, and even when prices rise, the cost of the next home often rises with the market. Appreciation may prove helpful over time, but it should be treated as a possibility rather than a guarantee.
I like to use an illustration of thoughtful, wealth focused planning which comes from a mentor of mine. He strongly recommends that first-time buyers limit their mortgage to no more than roughly twice the household income, even if they qualify for significantly more. Although many advisors can make a reasonable case for purchasing a more expensive home, his conviction is that a first house should serve a larger purpose: to be paid off quickly and to create financial momentum.
He followed that approach himself. He found a modest 1,900-square-foot home in a good school district and purchased it even though his growing family felt a bit cramped there. But within a few years, the house was paid off. Soon after wiping out the mortgage on this house, a job promotion came with a generous salary increaseand in the same year he experienced a windfall profit from a business venture, resulting in doubling of the household income. These events tempted him to upgrade the family home immediately, but he resisted the temptation believing that patience would better serve the bigger dream for the family in the future.
In time, patience was rewarded. He moved from the 1,900-square-foot home to an 8,300-square-foot home on a vast with wooded lot with lakes, greenhouseand tennis courts in a beautiful, warm climate. His dream house resulted by exercising restraint first and then expanding later from a position of strength. Within a few short years, he paid off the mortgage on a house that truly was a dream.
Benefits
Homeownership can bring satisfaction, stability, and a deep sense of belonging. These are the benefits enjoyed when the purchase is guided by careful planning, patience, and discipline rather than emotion alone. A physical home which supports family life without overburdening the household budget, becomes a place of true freedom—the ultimate dream home.
Read more of Gail’s article on Plaid or connect with her on her website.
