I spend a lot of time talking to women. I work with a lot of women and most of my clients are women. I am saddened by, also personally familiar with, the negative messages women send to themselves. I hear things like, “I am just not good at (fill in the blanks)”, “People won’t listen to me”, that one is my personal favorite, “I should have”, “I am so stupid”, and I am pretty sure you could add to this list. The reason this saddens me is there is a growing body of evidence that what we think and believe is what we become. Overtime if you continue to make statements about who you are and continue to feed your subconscious with negative messages, the more the more likely your subconscious will believe it and it will become your reality. Tania Kotsos explains how this works in her article, “Thought Power – Your Thoughts Create Your Reality“. She also shares how you can use thought power to change your life. If you are going to feed your subconscious why not send it positive messages that will help support you.

What I find interesting is most women probably would not talk to their loved ones the way they talk to themselves. Could you just imagine saying to one of your closest friends, “You are just too stupid” or “who’s going to listen to you”? That would be pretty harsh, right? So why are we so harsh on ourselves? Melissa Van Rossum shares her story and identifies 3 ways to stop being so hard on yourself. The women I know are hardworking, caring, supportive, intelligent and successful. They are all more than good enough, just the way they are. Do we all have more that we want to do, more that we want to accomplish, probably yes, but if you answer “no” that is also great. My point is, if women are all kinder to themselves and recognize their own strengths and successes, using the same encouraging and supportive language they use with their friends, they will feel happier and more confident. Create the life you want, believe in yourself.