Your world is closing in on you as you escape into the never-ending synapses of the firing of your brain as fear grips you when you hear the word “cancer”. “Am I going to die?” “Why me?”
I know my husband is beside me as I push him away. I need time to absorb, to feel the darkness surround me in search of whatever light I can find. For two weeks, I am self-absorbed, no longer opening the door to others much less wanting to read my emails or the many cards that show up in my mail box.
The nights were the worst!! My head would hit the pillow but not for long. My husband would find me alone, wrapped in the comfort of a blanket in the shadow of morning unable to turn off all my thoughts.
In the stillness I finally I awaken from my exhaustive fog. I laid all the cards on the table and decided to fight, not run from fear, but meet it head on deciding, “Why not me?” I gave it all to God knowing it was out of my hands. Fear of dying can stop you from living NOW!
Fear is the most powerful emotion known to mankind. When it happens, a chemical reaction takes place as our heart rate increases and in some cases the fight or flight takes over, pumping oxygenated blood to our muscles. The adrenal glands go into over-drive as our brain is highjacked. In some cases, it may turn you into a puddle unable to move.
Fear can stop us from doing the one thing we need to do. It shows no mercy. We see it in the faces of battered women or abandoned children or in families shattered by divorce. We feel the fear rise as we isolate from others unsure of our tomorrows. It kills dreams, but it can wake you up if you are able to face it, letting faith be bigger than fear.
“FEAR AND FAITH HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON. THEY BOTH ASK US TO BELIEVE IN SOMETHING WE CANNOT SEE.” Joel Osteen
You cannot go through life unscathed by fear. It shows up when you least expect it. You pick up the phone to hear your husband has been involved in a head on collision or a parent has been taken to the hospital or so many other disasters that can and will occur in your journey of life. Fear can limit your options and serve as blinders or it can be your compass pointing you in the right direction.
I learned one thing as I overcame my fear of dying- faith can be bigger than fear, if I allow it to be.