I don’t have dreams. I’m perfectly designed to partner with visionaries — to help them realize their dreams. And so I did. Over and over again my boss had fabulous dreams and I broke them down into small executable steps. Viola! — the dream realized. For twenty-two years I happily and with gusto brought other’s dreams to life while fully believing I did not have a dream of my own.
Somewhere around year fifty of my life, I admitted shame about who I was — the kind of woman I was. This shame had been shaping my world, holding me back in many ways. As I embraced the real me, the person I was designed to be, and let go of the shame around not being the right-kind-of-woman, something significant shifted.
Walking out of the bathroom one morning, a fleeting thirty-second thought raced through my mind. I literally said out loud, “That’s a dream!” Yes, it’s true I am designed to partner with visionaries and help them realize their dreams. I love doing that! AND it turns out, I have dreams. I was in shock at this discovery.
If you are having trouble putting your finger on a dream, it’s possible shame is covering up your dream. What do you have shame around? When you put your finger on your shame, you might also discover a dream underneath it.
I grew up not looking like my mother or my sister which left me feeling like I didn’t measure up to a certain standard (even though they didn’t enact a standard on me). I stepped into a career surrounded by an all male team. They respected and revered me but still made decisions over coffee and fishing which cut my voice out. Once again, I’m doubting if I’m valuable. I married a charming man who turned out to be incapable of seeing beyond himself which left me confirming the belief that had unexpectedly, slowly, covertly yet firmly established itself within me — I am not the right-kind-of-woman. When I put my finger on that shame message and chose not to believe it, I found my dream of wanting women to know and operate from their authentic design.
My dream was the direct opposite of my shame. Maybe yours is too.
I dream of a world where women find their voices and use them wisely. I dream of a world where women know their value and cultivate the worth of all those around them. I dream of a world where women accept themselves completely and free the next generation from shame. I dream!
What is your dream?