“Did you know that creation and evolution coexist together? You create with what you do while you evolve with who you are. When you learn to accept both realms of life, living becomes an amazing experience.” -Ron W. Rathbun
When I sit down and reflect on the past year, I am in awe of the accomplishments I made and the woman I have evolved into. I have never been more confident and courageous in my life. And do you know what? It feels darn good! I have found and truly believe that I can do anything that I put my mind to. It all begins with your thoughts and mindset. It was Henry Ford who said, “whether you think you can or whether you think you cannot, you are right.” The first time I read that quote, it resonated so deep within me. I really got it. The outcome of whatever I am embarking on is highly determined upon what I think I can or cannot do. I immediately began to change my mindset.
You may be wondering, “how does a person change their mindset?” There are several effective ways to do this. The approach I took started with positive affirmations. I began reciting positive things about myself. I learned to not worry about if those affirmations were demonstrated in my current circumstances because I gained the faith and courage to speak those things as if they were. I learned to speak life and love over my own life. And just like that, I began to change.
The first goal that I accomplished was completing and publishing my first book, Daughter of the Other Woman. My book became available on Amazon, December 31, 2020. In the midst of a pandemic, I found the courage to produce something positive in a world of chaos. Instead of wrapping myself in a blanket of doom and gloom, I chose to create, and the evolution began.
Though the year 2020, took away so many lives and dreams, I found solace deep inside by embracing my gift of writing and speaking. I began working on myself by studying just how our minds work. I began reading books about the power of our thoughts, mindset, psychology, and neuroscience. The amount of study that I took on, if I could have applied it to a formal education, would have earned me a master’s degree. For the first time, in my life, I began to learn more about myself with an understanding that I have the power and have always had the power to create the world that I desired to live in. My current circumstances were only a result of the choices that I had made. No one else was responsible for my pitfalls and no one else was responsible for my happiness. Only I can change anything in my life. I finally understood that no one else was at fault for my life or current circumstances. We always have a choice.
Mindfulness allows us the ability to notice the choices we have in front of us. Being mindful causes us to be present and zaps us out of the matrix. The auto-pilot nature of our actions through an untrained or unattended to subconscious causes us to move through life as if something or someone else is in control. My opinion is that we have misconstrued our religious beliefs and have taken on the thought process that the God whom we believe in is in total control. I am definitely not trying to argue that; however, I believe that we have inappropriately entangled free will and God’s will. Anytime our thoughts and actions are pure, and our intentions are of love and the betterment of everyone involved we are exhibiting God’s will. We are in total control of our own actions. However, we must be mindful, honest, and present to understand our true motives. That is when reflection is most important. Through reflection, we discover what our true intentions and motives for anything we take on truly are. Who are we trying to please? God? Ourselves? Others? Or all of the above? Are we trying to prove something to ourselves or others? Are our actions love centered? Reflection allows us to see ourselves which in turn causes us to evolve.
Only through reflection was I able to discover my true intentions. As children, our thoughts are at their purest, so I want to accomplish the things I dreamed of as a little girl. Pursuing my dreams not only further encouraged me, but touched the lives of others, and that is my ultimate goal. I want others to know that they can do whatever it is that lives in their hearts. I want others to look at me and see that if the little black girl from Kansas with humble beginnings and traumatic life experiences can do it, then so can you. I desire for others to not just live, but to live fully.