I was divorced in December of 2005, so I’ve been single for just a little over 8 years. At first, I have to admit, I was terrified because I had been married for 14 years. I was 37 years old and divorce was not something I anticipated happening to me. Sure I saw it happening in my family, amongst friends, and in my church, but I never thought I would be single again. Boy was I wrong!
The first couple of years were the toughest. Online dating was becoming popular, and one of my sister’s thought I needed to be “out there”. So I tried being “out there” for a bit, but decided I was safer “staying in”. The one thing I found online dating does is provide you some entertaining stories to tell at dinner parties. One story a woman shared with me still makes me giggle. She said she had been emailing back and forth for weeks with this really nice and handsome man and was eager to meet him. So they decided to meet at one of Dallas’ best steakhouses for a romantic dinner. She was eagerly waiting for him, and when he arrived she was shocked to see he was “a little person”. Something he failed to mention in his online profile page! She was so mad at him that she gave him a piece of her mind and stormed out of the restaurant. Please don’t misunderstand me, I’m not advising you not to try online dating,. I’ve met couples who met online years ago and are happy as can be, but my experiences weren’t the same. I must have the online Cray Cray magnet.
I think most of us are simply afraid to be alone, and if you’ve never really been alone, it can be difficult. I was married at 23 and before that I had always had roommates. The first place I moved in to after my divorce was a 3 bedroom 3 bath townhouse I shared with two male pilots. So I went from living with one man to two! It was fun and good for my self-esteem at the time, but in time I longed to have a place of my own. It was actually very liberating and empowering to finally have a place to really call “mine”. It was at this time when I really began to enjoy living alone.
I have to say once I came to grips with being Single, and stopped asking “why me?” and I began to ask “what now?” is when my divorce was no longer an obstacle but an opportunity. It was my chance to do the things that I’ve always wanted to do, the things I was passionate about, and the things to truly make a difference in my own life and the life of others. I began to feel excited about life again.
“It’s daring to be curious about the unknown, to dream big dreams, to live outside prescribed boxes, to take risks, and above all, daring to investigate the way we live until we discover the deepest treasured purpose of why we are here.” I remember reading this and it resonating within me, It’s an excerpt from the Luci Swindoll book “I Married Adventure”. This book inspired and motivated me to determine what I was passionate about and to do those things that God had placed within my heart to accomplish.
Being Single again is the best thing that ever happened to me. Once you stop looking at your circumstances as an end and can start to see it as a new beginning, you too may find great opportunities.
Are you struggling with being Single again? Here’s a great article that talks about the pro’s and con’s.