I Just Love Lizzo!
I am 48 years old and have spent the last 15 yrs consuming contemporary Christian music! Raising 3 kids, I wanted to be conscious of what they heard. But now that I am an empty nester, all bets are off! Lizzo is my girl crush!
I think I like her because she is me under all the pretense, the ego, the concerns about what others think, being an “adult”, or being a Christian. She is real, authentic, herself, creative, and speaks to who we all want to be as women! One of her lyrics is “I’m the one, the one.” This is such GOLD! Who teaches women this? No one that I knew, quite the opposite actually.
Teaching Our Girls
As little girls we are programmed to believe that we are not enough until we find our “prince charming.” This starts the tape of years of stories that we, in and of ourselves, are not enough. We read fairy tales and believe, as 5 year old girls, that we eventually will be found by someone who is more important than us. He will take care of us, love us, make us special and then we can be whole and happy. We walk around feeling “not enough” in middle school, high school and young adulthood, waiting so we can feel complete and happy. Only to despise the single life….(the most important stage of life according to many faith backgrounds to develop the self). Then, maybe we get partnered up for a period of time that may or may not be healthy or even real!
When we “grow-up” we watch a myriad of movies, like romantic comedies, that continue to perpetuate these lies! You know the woman is miserable. She has a funny but pathetic best friend and isn’t happy until she finds the guy who isn’t available until they overcome some obstacle and then he chooses her. This is what makes us all happy as the credits roll because it gives us hope for our own life based on the lie we have believed since we were little!
Why do we still do this?
It messes with u! Don’t we know this by now? Haven’t we learned yet? Why are we still believing the lie and telling those same stories that keeps us STUCK!?
“I am used to feeling alone so I thought that I would let you know that you are special.” -Lizzo
This line is GOLD! From Grammy award winning Lizzo. Because we all can relate at one point in our lives as women- we feel alone. We feel alone because we are not taught to believe the truth about ourselves. We are taught we are not enough until… (fill in the blank) and then when we do find ourself partnered up, we are taught we must abandon ourself. As Byron Katie says “if you are over there with you and I am over there with you, who is over here with me?”
You are special.
How often do we hear this, how often do we say this to anyone? And do we even believe this? As I have come to learn, a thought is only true if you believe it. Do we believe we are special and if not, why? What evidence do we have to the contrary?
Start a Revolution!
Let’s start a revolution to believe that we are special, just because we are. Just because we are living, breathing, beings that are 100 percent loveable, worthy, valuable, whole and complete! Why not, what would it hurt?
Well it might hurt our suffering. Yeah, I said it. The suffering this lie comes with. It might actually dissolve the ego or the addictive behaviors that we have developed to keep from feeling the emptiness of the lie. It might hurt the toxic relationships, the cosmetic industry, the plastic surgery profits, the fashion and fake industry, maybe even the patriarchy!
Then maybe we could feel true peace, authenticity, and unconditional love for ourselves and our capacity to love. Maybe we could finally feel enough, not because of who we are partnered with but because of who we are. We could be who we really are, not who we think others will accept. Using our skills and abilities to do what we will feel excited about, we could pursue our life’s dreams! We could choose who we want to be in a relationship with and if we want to have children or not. We could believe that we could take care of ourselves, by ourselves, for ourselves and it would be completely ok.
This is the self-love I feel when I hear the lyrics of Special. I think we all can be our most authentic selves but it is going to take a lot of reprogramming the lies to the truth of who we are. We have to stop believing the lie and start believing the truth. Living it in our own lives and showing others they have the power to do the same. WE ARE THE ONE WE ARE LOOKING FOR! You are love, you are enough, you are valuable, you are good, you are worthy and if no one has told you today, YOU are special!
“True love ain’t something you can buy yourself
True love finally happens when you by yourself”