Being a giver is an extraordinary thing to be to have a positive impact on the community and business world. However, as a woman you have to resist the desire to over-give and over-extend yourself to prove your value or self-worth for something or to someone. There comes a time in your life where you must take inventory of the things that are filling you up with energy or draining you of it. This often means saying goodbye to jobs, volunteer work and even some of things you once loved to do. You must value your time, set expectations and clear boundaries for your own sanity’s sake. It’s unfortunate far too often women don’t realize that over giving bares consequences to a healthy mind, body and soul.
It’s time to change this and explore the symptoms of over-giving.
Here some things to consider:
1. Have people start expecting you to do something without asking?
2. Do you feel burned out and disinterested in something that once gave you joy?
3. Do you even know the why for giving your time, talent or treasure into something?
4. Do you feel used?
5. Do you regret more often than not doing something?
6. Are you longing for a thank you never receive yet you still over give?
7. Do you feel pressure to do something when you know you don’t need to?
8. Are you fully present in the moment and able to communicate your value?
Now take a deep breath and realize it is going to be okay and from this point forward you can challenge yourself to give but not over give. There are a few great ways to stop if you love to volunteer come up with the amount of hours that you want to offer in a month or year. If you are searching for a new job evaluate what you are looking for and have the courage to ask for it. What is it that you want to gain in a new opportunity? What are your non negotiables? Go into the situation having some sense of how you want to lead the conversation. It is not about perfection but having a sense of ownership in your own career choices.
Women often suffer from impostor syndrome. You feel like that you are certainly accomplished but maybe you need to do more before you deserve an opportunity. The biggest problem with the impostor syndrome is that you can never feel you are good enough and have the tendency to over give to compensate. Simply put, “you are enough.” Own your value and capabilities and confidently walk into the situation knowing what you offer.
When you know you are enough then you won’t spend valuable time over-analyzing the merits of what others think you should be.
Overall, “After all those years as a woman hearing ‘not thin enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not this enough, not that enough,’ almost overnight I woke up one morning and thought, ‘I’m enough.” Anna Quindlen