What do you want? Yes, I’m talking to you. What do you want? I know, I know, this question is too broad to answer, right? Is it really? I have found that when I ask people this question, they turn into deer in headlights. Why is it difficult for us to answer that question? Why is it difficult for you to answer that question? I believe it is because we have not taken the time to discover what it is we truly want. Outside of the person asking us to place our order in the drive-thru, no one really asks us what we want. I have noticed that people, like our bosses, our employees, our husbands, our children, our parents, our siblings, and even our pets place demands on us, but no one takes the time to ask what we truly want. So, I am taking the time to ask you, right here and right now, “What do you want?”
Most women, when asked this question, immediately answer with what they want for their children. But is that our job or theirs? Is it up to us to want for anyone else, except for ourselves? Of course, we want our loved ones to be of good health and to be successful in their endeavors, but that is where our wanting for others should stop. Yes, that is where the buck stops. We are not supposed to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders, so let’s start by not placing our wants on the lives of others. Surely, they can handle that on their own. Now, back to you, “What do you want?”
I found, that when I began writing down what I wanted, I felt a ton of emotions. The two emotions that haunted me most were fear and shame. Why was that? Because I felt that what I wanted was way out of reach, maybe even a little egotistical, but mainly I feared that if I wrote down and pursued what I really wanted, then I may fail. Everything came back to the fear of failure. I didn’t want to focus on what I truly wanted out of life, because I feared what others may think if I failed. I also feared that people would perceive me as haughty. However, the more I pressed forward in simply writing down what I wanted, I unveiled my reasons for wanting what I wanted. In writing down my wants, I discovered my “why” and it had everything to do with helping and uplifting others. So, again I ask, “What do you want?”
Right now, I want you to write down exactly what you want. Be very specific, and most importantly, write down what you want for YOU, not what you want for others. I know this may be difficult because we are naturally nurturers but nurturing ourselves is long overdue. Once you have written down what you want, I want you to write down why you want what you want. Don’t think too much about it, just write and see what comes out. Be specific. Listen to yourself, you are worth it.
Now, that wasn’t too hard, was it? I am very proud of you for giving yourself permission to discover what you truly want, but I’m not done. I am going to list below a few steps on what to do, now that you know what you want.
1. Take time every day to just breathe.
2. Visualize several times a day what it is that you want.
3. Monitor what it is that you are allowing into your life such as: the television programs you are watching, the music you are listening to, the type of literature you are reading, the people that you are allowing in your life (remember, you become like the 5 closest people you hang around).
4. Do something every day (big or small) that gets you closer to your want.
I am so proud of you. Now, let’s take action, together. I have lots to do, and so do you.
