There seems to be a new trend. It’s called “telling your story”, and I question if this is really a good practice for women. In the 80’s, on women’s talk shows I think it did serve a powerful purpose, but lately I think it reeks of weakness. A quick google search told me that there were 40,000 articles on women’s leadership, and a whopping 56,000 on story telling. Clearly there is a trend, but I’ve never been a trend follower. Question trends. Question the status quo. My biggest concern is if there really is a woman’s movement toward leadership and success, telling your story will only leave us stuck in our past.
Here are four good reasons to consider throwing out your story:
#1 – Carl Jung put it perfectly. I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become. Telling our story automatically allows you and other to relive a trauma or drama. It’s like spreading poison.
#2 – It emphasizes ego and identity – in the wrong places. It allows those dangerous thoughts to creep in – I’m not thin enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m too old. Over time, you’ve start to believe you are the victim of a horrible set of circumstances, competing with another, thinking your story is more noble. After all, who else could have overcome being fired, losing a child, getting a divorce after 25 years and losing 75 pounds. It creates one upmanship.
#3 – Oh you get attention – for all the wrong reasons. Did you ever hear someone’s story that started with, “Seven years ago, I had a car accident…” and you wonder why they are still talking about it? Immediately, we start looking for the moral of the story, while screaming in our head, let it go already.
#4 – Perceptions. It’s a way to lose all control of your perceptions. Now the other party has summed you up and labeled you. The truth is you are looking for attention and being consoled. It backfires.
Lastly, I gotta say, do you ever find a man dumping his guts about his life story at the office? At the BBQ over the grill and a beer? No, you don’t.
This blog summed it up nicely – Check it out here.
The author clearly states, ” You can’t change the past, but you have total control over your personal interpretation of what the past means to you.”
Don’t kid yourself. Your story has no value. How you quietly came to conclusions about it, how you processed it, has great value.
Letting go of your story is a statement of self love. It says you are much larger than your story.
Love yourself enough to not perpetuate the problems of your life.