We are in a new time, things are changing and quickly. I am waking up to a beautiful sunrise seeing the cascade of pinks and oranges across the sky. It reminds me of the newness of each day that I have taken for granted.

The sun has come up everyday as far as I can remember whether I liked it or not. It is a new opportunity that I have to decide how I want to engage with the day that I have been given. I get to choose if I see the sun as just another thing I take for granted. Or I can see it as an absolute miracle, a gift that continues to give each day. My perspective matters. It is what colors everything that I see throughout that day, how I choose to show up and how I feel.


I can feel the fast pace at which things are changing- our country, our communities and us. We get to choose how we look at the change and it will show up all around us. I choose to see it as a time where God is fully healing, restoring and reconciling things that were not working. We are all so different and I know that is a good thing, but we don’t always see it that way.

I know I can certainly be stubborn and think that my way is the way, but I know that is not true. I want people to agree with me or affirm me but that is not their job- that is mine. We are all different for a reason, we just need to trust that principle. This is seen in nature in the  thousands of species of plants, insects, and animals that are all needed and play a role in the cycle of life. We are different for a reason as well, because our differences play an important role in our life.


My new belief is that I do not want people to affirm or agree with me anymore. That feels foreign to even admit, but it was an old pattern I thought protected me. I thought being right was my fortress of safety from feeling anxious or insecure but it actually just kept me stuck. Now I am seeing the beauty that when people don’t agree with me or don’t affirm me, it gives me the opportunity to learn and grow. I get to listen to what they think or their perspective and increase my intimacy with them. It also allows me to question my perspective, something that we don’t often do.

We just believe something that may have been an untrue thought, inherited or handed down to us. When I question my own belief, it helps me to really own whether or not it is actually true or not, now. This is a beautiful thing because it means that I can change and evolve in my perspective and learn more about myself.

I recently had an opportunity to practice this principle with my son. We were in the process of purchasing his first car. We, as you might imagine, had some different perspectives on this process, from my mom’s stance and him from his 18 year old stance. I sure thought I was right in my perspective about an aspect till my partner pointed out that I was not. Ouch, that was tough. My “shego” was bruised for a moment as I considered that this was true. As a result I updated my belief, learned and listened to my son (and partner) and got to experience a beautiful moment of him buying his first car and the joy on his face. This was a priceless moment I will never forget.

One Way

I no longer think my way is the right way for anyone but me and sometimes not even me. It is just a way. I am learning to be open and unconditional in the way that I think about life so I can see the beauty in each moment and perfection in that. Life is a gift that we are given for as long as we are here. We can choose to have an open heart and mind and embrace the journey or not. We can change our perspective so that we can see differences as needed and necessary for our growth and community. As I grow and change in my perspective, everyone around me does too and that is a beautiful thing! An open mind is an open heart.

Connect with Malissa here.