“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others” ~Brene Brown
Setting Boundaries
Have you ever been in a situation where someone hugged you and you weren’t quite comfortable with that? Or maybe you got asked to do something and didn’t feel like you had much of a choice to say no. Whatever it may be, those instances may have gone past your personal boundaries. But what are the boundaries exactly?
Personal boundaries are the lines we create for ourselves when it comes to our level of comfort around others. These boundaries may have to do with physical contact, verbal interactions, or our personal space. Some categories of boundaries include emotional, physical, sexual, workplace, material, or time.
Boundaries in a way reflect your personal values. If you value having personal space and time for yourself, you may let others know that more alone time is a personal boundary of yours. Since we are all our own unique beings, everyone will have different boundaries and boundary limits. It’s good to check-in with yourself about your values and boundaries so that when you encounter situations, you are well-equipped to handle them.
Discomfort caused by boundary violations may lead to anxiety, resentment, and fallout in relationships. Often, we avoid hurting others even when it comes at the expense of hurting ourselves. But withholding your true feelings from others serves to hurt your relationships with others and yourself. When we stretch ourselves thin or feel as though we’ve done more than others understand, we build resentment. And you hurt your relationship with yourself as you continually break your values or promises to yourself.
Clear Communication
While some people may have trouble understanding social cues, it’s best to play it safe by clearly communicating your wants, needs, and boundaries. For example, if you do not feel comfortable with a colleague giving you a hug, you may explicitly tell them “I’m not a hugger”. If direct confrontation is hard for you, you can always try pulling the person aside and letting them know after the fact. For example, you may say, “hey I wasn’t comfortable with that statement earlier, let’s refrain from saying that kind of stuff in the future”. These kinds of interactions may be uncomfortable, but if you do not set boundaries with others, no one will know not do it again.
Effective communication requires responsibility, understanding, and good intentions from all parties involved. The person communicating the boundaries and the person receiving the message both have a responsibility to understand one another. It is not solely for one person to know exactly what the other person means. Make sure you have a level head and a clear idea of what you want out of the interaction. If you step into a situation already emotionally riled up it may take the productivity away from the interaction. Know that people who really care about you will be willing to work things out and hear your feelings.
Boundaries With Ourselves
Setting boundaries doesn’t always have to involve others; in fact, the most crucial boundaries we set are often with ourselves. These personal boundaries help us maintain self-discipline, prioritize our well-being, and keep us focused on our goals. By recognizing our own limits and holding ourselves accountable, we create a healthier balance between work, rest, and personal growth.
We can also set clear boundaries with ourselves regarding budgeting. Setting boundaries with budgeting can be essential for maintaining financial health and pursuing long-term financial goals. By establishing clear limits on spending and saving, we can create a sense of control over our money and avoid unnecessary stress. Boundaries will help distinguish between needs and wants, prioritize essential spending (like debt, rent, taxes), and ensure working towards future goals. Overall, financial boundaries like budgeting promote financial discipline and enables to live within our means while still allowing for enjoyment and flexibility in a responsible way.
Healthy Relationships
Ultimately, boundaries with friends, family, colleagues, and oneself are crucial for fostering healthy relationships and personal well-being. They help us define our emotional and physical limits, ensuring that we may maintain respect, balance, and understanding in all areas of our lives.
By setting clear boundaries, we serve to protect our time and energy, prioritize our needs, and a prevent burnout, while also encouraging open communication and mutual respect in our interactions. Boundaries create a foundation of trust and self-care, allowing us to navigate relationships with greater ease and confidence. Empower and prioritize your values, one boundary at a time.
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Marilyn Suey
CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER ®
Certified Plan Fiduciary Advisor®
Accredited Investment Fiduciary®
marilyn.suey@diamondgroupwealthadvisors.com
Marilyn Suey is a Registered Representative with, and securities and Retirement Plan Consulting Program advisory services offered through LPLFinancial, a registered investment advisor, member FINRA/SIPC. Other advisory services offered through Mariner Independent Advisor Network, LLC a Registered Investment Advisor. The Diamond Group Wealth Advisors and Mariner Independent Advisor Network, LLC are separate entities from LPL Financial.CA Insurance License #0E01981
Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards Center for Financial Planning, Inc. owns and licenses the certification mark CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER® in the United States to Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards, Inc., which authorizes individuals who successfully complete the organization’s initial and ongoing certification requirements to use the certification mark.
Marilyn is the Founder and CEO of The Diamond Group Wealth Advisors. She is a nationally recognized Financial Educator, Author, Speaker, and Wealth Manager, who you may have seen in NBC, ABC, CBS and FOX network affiliates and Yahoo News, Wall Street Journal’s Market Watch, Wall Street Select and others. Marilyn and her team at The Diamond Group Wealth Advisors have been showing business owners, healthcare professionals, and executives how to accumulate, preserve, and pass on their wealth for almost 20 years. Marilyn developed The Prosperity BluePrint™, a five-step wealth planning process, that includes strategy for Wealth Accumulation, Wealth Preservation, and planning for your ideal retirement lifestyle. She founded the Savvy Women Community where she shares her wisdom and experience with like-minded women. She received an MBA from the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania and a degree in Applied Math and Economics from UC Berkeley. To schedule your complimentary Lifestyle Upgrade Assessment, call: (925) 219-0080 or email; marilyn.suey@diamondgroupwealthadvisors.com
