Divorce can be painful: emotionally, physically and financially. The entire process of separating from someone you love or loved at some point in time is something that no one can prepare you for. Living a normal life after divorce is another challenge. Those who have been married for several years may find it difficult to live the single life due to the habit of being married for several years.
It is not going to be easy, but now that it is officially over, it is time to move on and rediscover yourself.
Here are a few tips that will help you in this regard:
1) Make the Mental Shift: Ending a marriage is like ending a part of yourself. If the marriage is affecting you negatively, the sooner you let it go, the better it will be for you. Stop thinking about what ‘was’ and start thinking about what ‘will be’ if you want to take matters in your control. Holding on to the past will only make it more difficult for you to live a normal life. Learn from your past and let go off all the ‘what ifs.’ Divorce is not the end; there’s life beyond it. You just have to find it. Don’t feel sorry for yourself. You are not the victim, but the survivor.
2) Do Something New Every Day: Take your divorce as an opportunity to do all those things that you have stopped yourself from doing when you were married. Maybe you were dependent on someone long enough to forget that you are an individual with a mind of your own and not just someone’s ‘other half.’ Learn a new skill – and that makes you happy. Take a guitar class, draw, start your own blog, bake cakes or join a dance class. You have a plethora of options. Pick something that will help you rediscover yourself. Once you are there, you will realize that you are capable of doing much more with your life.
3) It’s Time to Think about Money: Now that you are responsible for your own finances, start thinking about saving for the future. You can start by making a budget. This will help you track where your money is coming from and going to. While doing so may sound simple, it is not. You may need legal help from a local lawyer. So if you live in Oak Brook, Illinois, you may want to consult a divorce lawyer in Oak Brook. Getting professional advice will definitely give you a better insight into managing your money rather than trying to figure it out on your own.
4) Get Rid of Negativity: You need to keep your distance from anyone who displays the slightest hint of negativity by calling your divorce a wrong decision or making you feel bad about it. Only you know of the reason(s) you wanted to break free and it is okay if you don’t want to talk to others about it. The last thing you want after a divorce is to be surrounded by toxic people, making your life more miserable than it already was. Maybe you and your partner are still in love but just can’t stay together. If that is the case, you can consider keeping in touch with him/her as a friend. To deal with the rest, give a good scrub to your contact list.
5) Change Your Lifestyle: You are gold. But if you have forgotten your worth over time, polish yourself again. Consider if it is time to switch your job or city. Add new clothes to your wardrobe or revamp it completely. Cut your hair in a different style or get a makeover. Go out and meet your friends, especially the ones you had been avoiding for long. And like Gerry says in P.S. I Love You, “Don’t be afraid to fall in love again. Open your heart and follow where it leads you… and remember, shoot for the moon.”
Before the divorce takes over your life, find yourself a purpose for both, the short and the long term. Here is a piece of good news: a study by Kingston University shows that women are happier than men after divorce.
Another study that appeared in the Journal of Women’s Health revealed that women become healthier after a divorce in terms of having a lower BMI, blood sugar level and waist size. This is something to cheer about!
A successful marriage takes two people. If one of you is unhappy in the relationship, then you are making the other suffer along with you by continuing to live with them. While divorce may seem like a bad idea or the end of the world at first, it could just be the beginning of a great life later on. Some days will be miserable and you will feel lonely and bad for yourself, but with time you will move forward. You have spent several years of your life trying to understand and adjust with another person, and now it is time for you to rediscover and understand yourself. All the best!