“Raising Two Children and Paying for College” is number four on the December 2025 USA Today News article’s American Dreams List, with a lifetime average cost of $876,092. The title invites us to pause and reflect not only on how the concept of family has shifted, but also on whether the traditional college pathway still delivers the security families expect from it. The dream is now framed around just two children. My husband and I both came from families of five children. My parents’ families had eight. Large families are rare today, shaped by several financial and cultural pressures:

  • Economic Constraints.  Birth and Infant Costs, up to $20,000.  (Insurance and health savings accounts can offset some of this expense.) Childcare can reach over $17,000 annually for infants.  Transportation and Insurance, add around $8,000 annually.  Tuition for private school and fees for sports, creative arts, etc.
  • Housing Shortages.  Lack of affordable large-family homes.
  • Cultural Shifts.  Women actively pursuing higher education and careers.
  • Lifestyle Choices:  Emotional and physical demands of parenting and the desire to maintain personal identity.
Is is Necessary?

These costs are significant, but the defining pressure on many families is still paying for college—and deciding whether college remains the best path to vocational fulfillment.

The common consensus is that a degree is necessary for success in life. Baby boomers, like me, rarely questioned this belief. Those of us with at least a bachelor’s degree generally did well, so we instructed our children to do what we did without fully considering how much the landscape had changed. Since the early 2000’s, career outcomes for many graduates have weakened as tuition rose, debt increased, and the job market became less predictable. Graduates from twenty and thirty years ago often fared better than those graduating today.

Consider the following disturbing trends.  More college graduates in the U.S. today are unemployed or underemployed than in the past.  The economy is experiencing a weaker job market in general.  Technology and automation are reducing jobs, even for highly educated candidates.  College tuition continues to rise, while average household income has not kept pace.  Those seeking a degree are likely to stay in school five or six years to complete a 4-year course of study.

Pitfalls

The resulting school loans have managed to turn the American Dream into a nightmare for many. An estimated 7.7 million borrowers were in default as of December 2025. The stiff penalties for default include: (1) acceleration of the entire unpaid balance, (2) wage garnishment, (3) tax refund and federal benefit offset, and (4) credit damage.

As I sought to identify strategies for avoiding the financial pitfalls of a college education, I looked back on the mistakes I made in my own journey. I chose to attend a small liberal arts college largely because of a fabulous, fun-filled weekend visit during my senior year in high school. I received a financial aid and student work package to cover part of the cost of tuition, room, and board, and then my mother took a full-time job to help with finances at home.

Near the end of my sophomore year, I discovered that my father had quietly secured another loan—without my knowledge—and was already in default on it. He wanted desperately for me to stay at the school I liked, fearing that I would not finish and obtain my degree otherwise. He did not know that I was no longer enamored with the school. I quit for a year, took a full-time job, and transferred to the University of Cincinnati—a perfectly good state-supported school that was, at the time, also city supported. By moving out of my parents’ home in the suburbs and taking up residence within the city limits, my tuition became minuscule. One additional small loan and a part-time job paid for two years of tuition, lodging, utilities, gasoline, and even some generous Christmas gifts.

Changing Plans

My original intent was to get a teaching degree, majoring in English literature and French. My dream was to teach in inner-city schools, where language skills were lacking. But several experiences during my junior-year observations became a reality check. I learned that, at least in many school districts at the time, politics and unions would be insurmountable obstacles to fulfillment for me. So, I went back to the drawing board: drop the teaching degree, drop the French major, complete a BA in English literature, and get out. I landed a job as a trainee for a commercial insurance company, planning to stay there for a year while I looked for a job I really wanted. I ended up staying in the industry for 33 years.

The lessons I learned in retrospect can be a guide for others. First, choosing a school should not be an emotional decision based on a teenage good-time weekend. Second, families should carefully analyze costs, aid assumptions, and financial consequences before committing to a school. We could have known that my mother’s job would change the financial aid offering and add to the family’s burden. Finally, all parties need to stay in communication and keep options open. Had my father told me his intention to get a second loan, we might have decided together to transfer to a more affordable institution sooner. I also wish I had investigated my career plans by speaking with people in the field and getting a clearer understanding of the teaching culture in our city.

Dream

In summary, the dream of children and college, like all other dreams, is attainable if it is planned and managed well. But families should begin with the real goal, which is not college itself; the goal is vocational fulfillment. For some young people, college may still be the right path. For others, apprenticeships, technical training, military service, entrepreneurship, or direct workforce experience may require less money, less time, and offer a better fit for the changing economy.

Read more of Gail’s article on Plaid or connect with her on her website.